The man who wrote .....

Ian Bell finds something amusing in the field

2009-05-05T09:53:00.002+05:30

That's this photos caption on cricinfo. Got to give it to the cricinfo guys for coming up with something like that. :)

Respect to da MAN!

2009-04-28T10:47:00.006+05:30

The followers of this blog (now reduced to just one) know that I have always admired Winston Churchill's quote - He has all the virtues that I dislike, and none of the vices that I admire, in a wicked way.

In a similar vein, I admired the original cow boy of Hindi film industry, the one and only Feroz Khan! It was a sad moment in our life when the news of his demise came.

The man had a heart to come out in public when Fardeen was involved in some drugs case. He asked him to publicly apologise for his wrong doing and he stood by him all the while.

And then when some random dude asked him about cigarettes and alcohol, he said - Like engines, men need fire and fuel to keep them running.

Respect!

I remember watching some interview where he said that he's planning a mega movie with some really cool action sequence in which he blows up a Ferrari. When asked why not blow up a Ferrari look alike, he said that wouldn't be fun and that wouldn't be a Feroz Khan movie.

Thats not how he rolled! The original cool dude! The original rock star of Hindi Film Industry - Feroz Khan.

Image courtsey: hindu, rumela gallery

Daniel Vettori shatters his good boy image

2009-03-30T14:45:00.007+05:30

Daniel Vettori refuses to be thought of as a mild mannered gentleman cricketer. Sehwag was his first target. What seemed to be a gently lobbed drifter was infact a flying kung-fu-esque kick which left the batsman baffled.

Here he demonstrates one of his fiercest moves that he recently acquired on the tour to Australia (to counter Brad Hogg's tactics).

Beware when you crack that silly little sheep joke while you are in New Zealand.

[Image courtesy: cricinfo.com]

Matthew Hayden's brain size and some lewd remarks about Ponting.

2008-11-17T10:46:00.014+05:30

Whenever the guys from Down Under lose to India, I make it a point to read Aussie news papers the next day.

They are full of s*** and it makes funny reading. Hayden is the most entertaining of them all. Not because he is full of wit. On the contrary he is full of an over simplified crappy way of looking at the world. Much like George Bush actually.

The Texan George Bush had to adjust himself to Washington English.

Hayden has no such constraints.

When he opens his mouth, his raw, unkempt, unchiseled, unwitty, undeep brain displays itself like this :

"Two hungry dogs, if you can use the metaphor, that circle each other in a ring... I as a spectator want to see that ability to gnash teeth."
India-Australia cricket, according to Matthew Hayden
Courtesy cricinfo.com

So we ignore his remark about his experiences in a third world country and let him live in a first world a** licking country. For details read Understanding the Australian.

Now read the article one more time.

Okay back to the Australian news papers. You might have read these on some other blogs, but I couldn't resist the temptation of writing it here too.

The first article I haven't gone soft, declares Ponting
The second article Ponting lets Roebuck feel pointy end of his pen

Seriously whats going on Down under? Is this common there? Maybe their imagination needs a little help now and then. Hence the explicit writing.

That perhaps is the explanation for Matthew Hayden's unimaginative grasp and speech.

When cowards run the State, the nation bleeds

2008-09-18T09:38:00.002+05:30

Taken from here

September 17, 2008
Again the same old stories, the same threats and same resolve of politicos, like wet, squeezed paper. We told you so, at that date and time, but you didn't listen. We asked for a stringent law. Our intelligence department was warned, yet no one acted.

It's a plot to derail the peace process with Pakistan, we shall never get trapped but continue our mohabbat. They are not Islamists. Bad guys have no religion, so don't say it's Islamic terrorism. They come from nowhere. May be from Mars [Images], but certainly not from Pakistan or Saudi Arabia. They are not our people, not Kashmiris or Delhi-ites.

Don't embarrass Pakistan by pointing fingers at it or at SIMI [Images] or Hurriyat -- we are continuing with our Confidence Building Measures and such blasts aim to disrupt it. Why should we allow that?

Another feature, another magazine: SIMI is an association like the YMCA, these communal hate-mongers have connived with the Congress government to implicate them wrongly while they were conducting adult education classes. Please see the truth from secular eyes and defeat the anti-Afzal Guru crowd. Maybe the next time we will include Afzal as a minister for internal security after having experimented with the Muslim League as a partner in governance.

The Deoband's concerned maulvis will again issue a statement to be welcomed by all peace-loving people. Look, they have again said that their scriptures don't recommend this kind of violent jihad and killing innocent people. But no one would ask them how many killers of the jihadi variety have turned peaceniks and left their bomb factories after such dictates.

'Hindu intolerant groups behind such bomb blasts!' -- another secular television channel would scream -- because they create an atmosphere to malign Muslims and get votes, it's election time folks. These bomb blasts, like the Godhra train fire, have been planned by Hindu chauvinists.

A job well done. We can all go to sleep.

When cowards run the State, the nation bleeds.

A will to eliminate the weeds and face the wrath of malevolent elements with the confidence of a victor is the prerequisite to be a ruler and, yes, to be a citizen. If it's there, you build a nation. If not, civilisations vanish.

If citizens encourage and harbour the wicked, forget dates like December 13 that should be remembered, forget to take revenge on anti-nationals, continue with their late-night parties when dead bodies of their fellow citizens lie splattered in busy fashion markets, no one can save that deadwood society.

Where writers and columnists advocate yielding to the gun-wielding secessionists because 'they want it', no one can save that country from disintegrating as every day new secessionists will emerge.

It's useless to blame this party or that organisation. See what we have done and to what level the state of affairs have been brought to. Everything boils down to personal wars and wins, and homemade potboilers rule the top echelons of organisations.

The nation as a matter of serious planning and vision has simply vanished off the agendas of those who are the known faces of our leadership and decision-making mechanism of the State.

Personal jealousies, vendettas and mandi-isation of the high and mighty turn peoples' security into a joke of the ghostland where signal-jammers and black cat commandos iconise the Neros and the Republic is left to fend for itself.

This is our state of affairs today.

Any day, any time, anyone.

Free Afzal committees. Visits to the Azamgarh home of a terrorist. Demand citizenship for Bangladeshi infiltrators. Demand ban on patriotic organisations. Win the election. That's the final aim of governance and our living. Only the people are to be blamed. It's a democracy. Choose those who bring you safety and succour. If you choose the marauders you get back marauders.

The Indian people, as Indians alone, have done it marvellously before too whenever the occasion demanded solidarity and cohesion. Kargil [Images] saw it, 1965 saw it, 1962 had a great solidarity of the patriots. Always, it's the leaders and politicians who have failed the country and backstabbed the trust people had reposed in them.

Peoples' power saw that the culprits behind the Uphaar cinema fire tragedy case were brought to book, however influential they may be. It was because of their pressure and media build-up that the Nandas were punished in the BMW [Images] case. The Right to Information Act is a great instrument given to the people not because politicians wanted it but there was public pressure to have it and finally it was done.

And look how Jammu rose to see the tricolour win against the Pakistani flag-wallahs. No one had ever imagined a people can create an upsurge unknown in regional history and win too. Great things happen nimble-footed. The British never had ay inkling of the 1857 uprising till Mangal Pandey shot the British officer in Barrackpore. Jayaprakash Narayn's too was a movement whose expanse and impact no one had anticipated, and so was the Ram Janambhoomi movement that changed the contours of the Indian polity.

If people will, they can.

Indians will have to decide how many more will have to die before they feel compelled to rise in revolt. India needs a rebellion of Indian people who would merge all their other identities under one banner -- the tricolour. Forget temples, churches and mosques. The first to protect the church should be a Hindu like the first to protect a swami should be a Christian. That's where the nation gets life.

When the nation is in peril, gods must be discovered in national unity and not within concrete structures. These ugly, nincompoop politicos need to be thrown into the dustbin lock, stock and barrel. The truth is we, as Indians, never paid a price for our independence and honour. When I had interviewed Morarji Desai, which turned out to be one of his last, in his Mumbai apartment, he said not more than five percent Indians had participated in the independence struggle. The rest were either too lazy to come out or had lined up before the British for bakshish and be their officers.

Read what Abraham Lincoln did to save America from disintegration and his famous Gettysburg address and also his inaugural one as president. He accepted a civil war but refused the demand to divide America. Nearly seven lakh Americans died in that war, but a new sun rose on its horizon that inspired millions across the globe with its egalitarian and democratic values.

What sacrifices have we offered to save national integrity and the civil life of our nation?

Isn't it time to ask this question and rise in rebellion to say 'no' to this bloodbath unitedly?

All that is good

2008-07-24T19:12:00.009+05:30

Test Match Cricket, White flannels, Reggae, A round of drinks, and a Batsman celebrating after hitting a boundary.

Click here if you cant see the video.

यो म्यान!

2008-01-14T18:28:00.000+05:30

अमेरीकन शेतकरी भाऊ केवढं तुमी तालेवार
उगवतीला मावळतीला पघावं ते हिरवंगार

एवढा थोरला बारदाना चारच गडी त्याच्या पाठी
औजारं बी नामी तुमची पेरनी, कापनी, मळनीसाठी

मिशीशीपपी नदी म्हंजी ईमानदार कामवाली
पानी भरती, चक्की पिसती, बिजलीबत्तीबी तिनंच केली

म्या म्हनलं, "ह्यो राक्किस कोन?"...तर ती फवारनीची चक्की
निस्तं योक बटन दाबा...फसाफसा उडवती फक्की

गाया मस्त दूध देत्यात बैलं कापून खाता म्हनं
अगडबंब गोदामांतनं खंडी खंडी भरता दानं

गहू म्हनां भुईमूग म्हनां समदं बख्खळ पिकत असंल
बाजाराची कटकट न्हाई सॅमकाकाच ईकत असंल

सूटबूट ह्याट पाईप... आयला कामं होत्यात कशीर्
तुमची पोरं झ्याकूबाज... शिरमंताची असत्यात तशी

आमच्या गवनेराला नसतं असं आंगन हिरवकंच
असा बंगला अशी मोटर अशी बायको गोरी टंच

- वसंत बापट (प्रवासाच्या कविता)

An Artist At Work

2008-01-03T09:49:00.000+05:30

As I am writing this... a great artist is demonstrating his very subtle art down under. I am talking about VVS!

His score reads

Batsmen Runs B 4s 6s SR
*VVS Laxman (rhb) 73 71 14 0 102.81

There is perhaps not a better sight it cricket when Lakshman is on song. No matter how many runs he scores.
and when I say artistry, I mean this....
27.5 : Symonds to Laxman, FOUR, Laxman leans forward to a fuller ball from Symonds and flicks him from off stump past the fielder at mid-on, Clark gives chase but Laxman's timing is such that his effort is futile, that was extraordinary wrist work from Laxman.

Lucky guys who are watching it live.

Thaiku

2007-09-14T15:55:00.000+05:30

what fun it is

to write a thing and mean else

i love beautiful white beaches

सुंदर मी होणार

2007-07-14T15:27:00.000+05:30

Shower Gel हा काय प्रकार असतो?
तो साबणापेक्षा वेगाळा असतो का?

tub मध्ये फेसाळलेल्या पाण्यात पडून रहाण्यात काय सुख असते?
त्या tub मधली साबणाच्या फेसाचे बुड-बुडे हवेत सोडनारी ललना इतकी मोहक का वाटते?

( तुमच्या पैकी कितींनी तिला बाहेर येतांना बघितले आहे?
असो.... )

नाही निर्मळ मन, तर काय करील साबण?
हि उक्ती लिहिणारा रंगाने उजळ होता कि कृष्ण ?

एका समारंभात छान दिसण्यासाठी माणसाने किती खर्च करावा?
आणी दोन ?

mens सौंदर्य प्रसाधानांच्या दाव्यावर कितापत विश्वास ठेवावा?
सगळीच मुलं त्यांच्या दाव्यांवर कधी ना कधी भाळतात का?

Naepolean ने आपल्या बायकोला, मी येईस तोवर अंघोळ करु नकोस हा संदेश पाठ्वाला होता त्या मागील सत्यासत्यता किती?
तिच लोकं नंतर सुगंधी द्रव्यांच्या एवढ्या प्रेमात का पडली?

pour homme आणी pour femme ह्याताला फरक ज्याला कळत नसेल त्याने काय करावे ?
deodarant गिफ्ट देण्या मागे काय हेतु असू शकतो?

( डोंबिवलीत McDonalds का नाहीये ?)

यूनिकोड पंगु ? येथे टिचकी मारा .... येथे
(That is my translation of "Unicode disadvantaged? click here". )

Yeh mera deewanapan hai.

2007-04-15T12:12:00.000+05:30

The other day I saw The Namesake and was pleasantly surprised hearing this song.

I liked it instantly. May be because it is Mukesh's song. :)

Yeh dhoop kinara...

2007-03-23T13:22:00.000+05:30

I have been listening to Nayyara Noor lately. You can check out her songs here.

Do listen to her album, Nayyara Sings For Faiz. Perhaps you guys might like it. Gives a feeling of laid back 80's. :)

She has a very sweet voice and yet it seems wistful to me.

On Crows, Cuckoos and Naihar

2007-03-21T07:43:00.000+05:30

Hmmm.... Not sure whether I should begin by writing about crows and cuckoos or about Babul Mora. The emotions, they arouse in me, are all mixed up.

The Indian Crow is a peculiar bird. I find observing them very entertaining. R. K. Lakshman considers it as his favourite pastime and has sketched them innumerable times. Mark Twain in his utterly readable essay writes...

He has been reincarnated more times than Shiva; and he has kept a sample of each incarnation, and fused it into his constitution. In the course of his evolutionary promotions, his sublime march toward ultimate perfection, he has been a gambler, a low comedian, a dissolute priest, a fussy woman, a blackguard, a scoffer, a liar, a thief, a spy, an informer, a trading politician, a swindler, a professional hypocrite, a patriot for cash, a reformer, a lecturer, a lawyer, a conspirator, a rebel, a royalist, a democrat, a practicer and propagator of irreverence, a meddler, an intruder, a busybody, an infidel, and a wallower in sin for the mere love if it.

Crows find mention in our music too. There are so many songs on crows. उड जा काले कावाँ, कावाँ कावाँ, भोर होते कागा, and such. There is a doha by Sant Kabir :
कागा सब तन खाईयो, मेरा चुन चुन खाईयो मांस.
दो नैना मत खाईयो, मोहे पिया मिलन कि आस.

As with the crow, same with the cuckoo. A quintessentially Indian bird. At least for me. Why? Because he finds abundant mention in our music, our poetry, our literature. And of all the songs that have been written on cuckoo, the one which immediately comes to my mind is a classical song कोयलिया बोले अंबुआ की डाल पर. रितु बसंत का देत संदेसवा. What a wonderful song!

Just hearing a cuckoo sing, brings back so many memories. Summer vacations, bright mornings, raw mangoes... ah! God's in his heaven :)

And here I am in this foreign country with all its high rise buildings, sparkling clean roads, all things artificial, completely devoid of chaai-tapris, trying to make sense. But then I hear a cuckoo sing and I realise that this place is, after all, not as intolerable as it seems. When I'll go back, I'll tell people that amidst all the modern life that surrounded me, I used to hear a cuckoo sing and that it reminded me of the रितु बसंत back home.

For now, I can only take refuge in Wajid Ali Shahs words ...

बाबुल मोरा नैहर छुटो जाये
मोरा अपना बेगाना छुटो जाये

Oh and by the way, Happy Gudi Padwa/Ugadi. Happy New Year! :)
I take your leave with this image...

PS: A Cuckoo which cuckoos is male of the species. Hence the use of masculine pronoun - he.

Posts which were never posted

2007-02-24T15:58:00.000+05:30

Tremendous changes have happened since I last blogged. In my life that is. (Mandira Bedi is on the tele and says "... but West Indies, which has been spiritual home of fast bowling... ". I am amused). Never mind Bedi (Inzamam says: yeah we bowl first. pehle bowling ki to pressure hotaa hai.)

So never mind Bedi and Inzamam, my life has undergone tremendous changes since I last blogged. All this while I wanted to write about a company sponsored treat we had a couple of weeks ago. How, with every gulp of the golden fluid- made from Finest Riesling Grapes, we ended up in such a state that when we saw the following pic, we all concluded in unison that it should read ...

"Fast Clearance Lane: For person whose intention is to go from point A to point B and who is also driving the car and is the only person in the car."

I also wanted to write about severe problems we guys in general, and me in particular, face in the gents loo these days. (my roommate says... "We need a football coach man. Crazy kaise khelte hai woh hi sikhaa saktaa hai") The problem being... the cleaning staff on our floor consists primarily of female workers and they barge into the toilet for cleaning purposes without any warning. When I look at them, I get a feeling they don't think it's wrong. So when (Mandira says with honest face... is there a way to simulate the match pressure, that feeling you know... ) yeah.. so my primary concern, when I enter the loo, is to find a place which is least visible.

I was particularly keen on writing about various strategies we follow and various techniques that we have learned over a period of time. But I couldn't.

The reason being, I have been told by none other than The One that talking about such things reflects badly. I have been told that the header of this blog too, is in bad taste. I wonder how? It is in this wonderment that several post-less weeks passed. I have realised that if such conditions are imposed on me, I will have nothing to write.

Or maybe I will write something like "Cultural Learnings from K For The Make Benefit Of The Glorious Nation of Dombivli" (where K is the name of a place in Pune). One hopes.

-the post endeth

A few links and thoughts

2007-02-02T15:06:00.000+05:30

I write about a cool new technology. Have a look at it here.

This opens up new possibilities in CAD. Models can now be created using very little UI. History storage will be different. Data stored in the file will be primarily mathematical in nature as it is unlikely to confirm to any one particular standard. More over, if the intent of the user is captured correctly, styling engineers can actually sculpt a model.

One more link on a different subject here.

Notice how easy it is to checkout each and every link, to quickly write some stuff and update or edit it. It is particularly useful for maintaining a to-do list, to keep minutes of a meeting, discussion forum, etc. Exploring the ways can this thing be used will be a intresting excercise. I am particularly fascinated by the fact that this is very unlike googledocs or something like that. Googledocs takes the application to the web but here the web itself is an application - if I may say so. Another good thing is, you just have to download the html file locally and start playing with it. If you want somebody else to play with it, send him the file, he opens it up and sees everything that you have done to it. No sign-in, no account required.

Google tiddlywiki and explore it for yourself.

--------

My grandfather, when he got talking, he use to cite references from Marathi, English literature. He once casually told me about a poem by Oliver Goldsmith, The Deserted Village. It is about people migrating to cities for work.

Now, over a period of time, I have developed a kind of pseudo-Luddite bend and I keep fighting with it all the time. But then things like these come along and makes me rethink all over again. Particularly so when I saw the first link.

Thanks but no thanks.

2007-01-31T18:48:00.000+05:30

At the end of todays match between India and West Indies, Cricinfo reports :

Arun Lal, the presenter, says something about how Tendulkar played like Tendulkar that we know and such stuff. Tendulkar looked grim and then said. :" I have always played the way I wanted to play according to the situation. I have been playing for a long while now,( read... I know what I am doing) so people should appreciate that." Ah! firm reply to the critics.

(Post edited. Had a change of mind. Partly because of the comment by "the one who read")
:)

Reflexes are fast but keys are sticky

2006-12-12T14:29:00.000+05:30

I write this with a lot of excitement. Primarily because our group has relocated to a different floor and I have been told that there is a modeling agency on the same floor.

But that is not why I am excited.

They model traditional Chinese dress. This means lots of clothing. Not an exciting prospect. That's okay. I know very well that Mr. Murphy particularly enjoys making a point to me.

The reason I am excited is that my cubicle is right besides the corridor and very close to the pantry. So I get to see a lot of people going hither and thither. When I say people, I obviously mean people of the gentler sex. This is the bright side of having your cubicle right besides the main corridor.

There is a dark side to it though. That is, your monitor screen will be watched by more people. On any other day I wouldn’t have worried about it considering my extremely fast reflexes, but I have to be cautious now.

It so happened that I was having coffee the other day and it spilled on my desk. Some of it also fell on my keyboard. Though I did all I could to wipe it off, some coffee got into the crevices near the function keys. F1 to F4. So these keys have become bit a sticky to operate. Intelligent reader must have guessed by now that fast reflexes can not substitute for a sticky F4 key. For the lesser mortals let me explain. ALT-F4 closes the active window, which is the most crucial action you need in times of sudden increase in viewership. Especially if the major chunk of viewers happen to belong to the G dot of the Ss. You don't want to give a bad impression, do you? Now if you ask me why I need swift closure of windows, I will feel bad.

So what is the moral of the story? Well the moral is...

MUHAHHAHHAHHA

PS: I seriously want to get rid of this type of humour. Humour which reminds some people of a guy whose name matches with an American University. How do I beat this temptation? At the core I am a decent guy.

Edited at 9.49...
Here is my plan. First I will get it out of my system. Then I will edit it so it becomes illegible and then the urge dies. So my posts will be as pure as honey and milk. At the core I am a decent guy.

Spatial Understanding

2006-11-20T08:59:00.000+05:30

It is almost a month since I came here and I am still struggling with my spatial understanding of this place. Normally, I have some kind of idea about the directions such that I can atleast point which way any known place lies. But my sense of direction has been completely fogged since I came here. I often have to look at the sun to get some sort of understanding. :)

I was trying to figure out this perceived lack of comprehension while travelling in the subway today. It was then that I realised that because of the banking, the compartment rolls a certain degree. This helps us in our understanding of the direction. Subway compartments do not roll on turns. So one gets a feeling that he is always travelling in a straight line. Which makes me wonder whether it is the suspension of the compartment which comes into effect or is it the wheels with flanges on both sides? The latter looks more improbable from the point of view of design considering the high speeds and subsequent stresses involved.

What do you think?

Sang Froid

2006-11-10T08:44:00.000+05:30

I wanted to write this up the moment I read news about Shoaib Akhtar slapping Bob Woolmer. Thats because when I read the name Colonel Anil Kaul, I knew I had read his name somewhere else too.

Here I will not boast about my top class act of investigative journalism without ever having to leave even my chair. I just present to you the two links...

One and Two.

First link was published before the start of championship trophy. That was when Anil Kaul would joke..

"Pakistanis having to take my permission before stepping out of the hotel; what more can one ask for?" jokes Kaul, while arranging for a smooth check-out for the players from the team hotel in Jaipur.

Second link was published after the Championship Trophy was over, Pakistan was out before the semi-finals, and Shoaib Akhtar was found guilty of doping. Thats when Colonel Anil Kaul struck.

I like this man!

Jaan-E-Mann in the times of Don

2006-10-31T12:44:00.000+05:30

I watched Don a few days ago and also watched Jaan-E-Mann. :)

Some thoughts on Jaan-E-Mann.
1. I thought the songs are melodious and intense. Anu Malik's original compositions have always been very melodious. Ajnabi Sheher and Sau Dard are wonderful. Sonu Nigam is a phenomenal singer except he tends to do some really silly things like act in Jaani Dushman or come up with some weird hair style. But thats okay.
Gulzar's lyrics really struck me. You have to listen to humko maloom hai. It has some lines like mera future hai teri kasam, phone kartaa rahaa phone bhi naa liyaa :) Those songs fit into the situation pretty well though.

2. Salmaan-Akshay combination assures some not-so-serious stuff. The trailer of Salaam-E-Ishq was shown and Salmaan in the end says salaam-e-ishq meri jaan kubool kar lo. O humse pyaar karne ki jaraa si bhool kar lo. This thing cracked me up man! Salmaan in a close-up shot, delivering this utterly emotional dialog with a completely redundant "o" and that perpetual smile of his. Such simplicity!! My ex-room-mate use to sing bheege hont tere with this additional "o" at the start of every line. :) I use to have good fun at his cost.
Salmaan is his usual self in the entire movie, He has looked over-weight in some scenes, he has looked as if he is having some hang-over.
Akshay Kumar is pretty good. He plays his role with ease. I felt that his comic timing in this movie is slightly different than in his earlier ones.
Preity Zinta can play role of an Indian woman - brought up or born in NATO country or its ally where White caucasian population is in majority - with total ease.

3. There werent many people in the theater. I had this temptation of reclining on my seat spreading my legs on the front seat but resisted that temptation. I watched this movie with blank mind aur bohot fun aayaa. :)

Some thoughts on Don:
1. Farhan Akhtar is one of the most talented guys we have in hindi film industry. His sense of style is very chic. He maintains that in Don too. The opening scenes set in Europe, grey skies, Paris and all put me in an upbeat mood.

2. Somewhere in between it ceases to be a tightly woven thriller movie that it is suppose to be. The original Don was ahead of its times. The story narration was unique and it had Amitabh! These are different times. Most of the multiplex crowd would have seen Bourne Identity/ Bourne Supremacy/Ronin/Syriana et.al. The standards of story telling have changed now. It is faster, tighter and make the audience think. Don sadly does nothing like that. To make matters worse, I had this feeling after two hours that I am seeing more of Boman Irani than Shahrukh. Thankfully towards the end there are lots of twists in the story.

3. The songs are nothing to boast about.

4. Farhan has left the end open so I hope he comes up with some better sequels.

All in all, I enjoyed Jaan-E-Mann more than Don just because Jaan-E-Mann entertained my blank mind while Don left me wanting for something different.

Addendum:
- One thing that really angers me is the huge waste of alcohol which Shahrukh often does in his films. He drinks almost nothing while draining down the golden fluid. Only a fool will do something like this. In Don too, Shahrukh drinks little but pours Champagne is already overflowing glasses while my heart bleeds.
- Farhan Akhtar is a guy with great talent. It is unfair to compare his daring venture with movies like Bourne Identity. But thriller movies inadvertently draw such a comparison.

Who is Enrique Iglesias?

2006-10-20T06:15:00.000+05:30

As a result of some divine plan, I dont know what, the only thing I can watch is Sony, Zee, and Star TV. Now I can not stand either of these for more than 2 minutes and it so happened that in those 2 minutes I saw an ad of the greatest love saga ever told, a story about relationships. It now advertises itself in the following way: (arranged in ascending order of impact it had on me)

1. The song "Rock and Roll Soniye" is played and following words are displayed... "The Biggest Party Song Ever"
2. The title song of the greatest love saga and story about relations is played along with the following words... "The Biggest Love Song Ever"
3. The song "Mitwaa" is played and following words are displayed below.. "The Biggest Sufi Rock Song Ever"

Got to go.. signing off..
- Enrique Iglesias
(oh Anna ....behave! )

PS: A marathi PJ I recently heard.
राणी मुखर्जी शाहरुख खानच्या पाठीवर पोळ्या का भाजते?

का? का? का? का?

कारण शाहरुख म्हणतो .... mitawaaaaaaaa (मी तवा)

Voila!

2006-10-16T13:11:00.000+05:30

So this is a whole new place. Different people and different cultures. One thing that hasn't escaped me is the phenomenally large number of female working staff. I see them everywhere. I often mistake a bogie* as a women's only bogie* only to realise later that there is no such thing here. Sadly, and as it has been with my life, the same proportion does not reflect in the group I work with. Though I must mention about the strange thing that happened to me a few days back. Something which has never happened before.

I was at my desk minding my buisness (which includes removing several desktop icons, changing the wallpaper, changing settings so that hidden folders are invisible, checking whether internet can be accessed, whether the connection is through proxies, is it monitiored, are anonymous proxies are blocked.... you get the drift?) Just then I noticed a lady who sits near my cubicle. I thought she wanted to talk to me. (This thing had never happened to me earlier. TTHNHTME henceforth). Being a man of chivalrous nature I got up, said "hey!", gave a smile and continued with my very important work. She came ahead and asked me how am I doing?(TTHNHTME), whether I need any stationary and stuff like that? have I settled down?(TTHNHTME...NNN)

I minimised all my windows and replied with a cordial yes to all her questions. I thought of an extremely cheesy reply to her - how am I doing question, but refrained. Not sure how to take the conversation ahead, I asked about her job. She explained with lot of interest the nature of her work. I nodded. After a while, when I was minding my very important work, I sensed that another lady in the adjacent cubicle wanted to talk to me(TTHNHTME... NNNNN). I performed my usual chivalrous routine. To my surprise she asked me similar questions as the other lady(TTHNHTME). Two ladies coming up and striking a conversation...TTHNHTME. This was unusual. If you say I lack experience you would be correct.

So having had such experiences my mind conjured up some pretty intresting things. I suddenly became an optimist. My office life would now include, what the french say, pause un convivial or so I thought. I also thought that just like the French, I would be spending not more than 7 hours at the office out of which 1.5 heurs, Je prends une dejeuner et prends une sieste. I also thought that maybe sometime we would go for a walk, la promenade apres la dejeuner, as the French would say. #

Since that day, I pass by the two cubicles hoping to exchange plaisantrie with those two but I am never able to muster enough courage as to initiate a talk, leave aside my idea of living in an utopian world.

Damn it.. this French thing gives me false hopes. I should have never attempted this refinement and subtlety in moi. I now revert back to sarkaari(KF mild). Though my optimism stays and would be more than happy to revert back to vin rougue if a gentil et belle dame insists. #

--------

*bogie as in the train compartment not the evil spirit. Thought I should clarify.
#All my feelings and adjectives expressed are purely Platonic and Aristotelian in nature. Except perhaps the cheesy reply which I never gave.

School Chale Hum

2006-09-04T20:54:00.000+05:30

Found this on youtube. One of the most beatuiful videos to come out recently.

I am Mumbhai

2006-09-01T19:06:00.000+05:30

I thought, I will write a few slangs one used in Munnabhai MBBS and others commonly used in Mumbai. Some people might not have noticed it and some might not know the exact meaning. B-)

1. Towchan, टोचन:
This is what Circuit says to Munnabhai when both of them go to meet Chinki in the Pub. The wrong Chinki (Neha Dubey) is dancing with a guy quite intimately when Circuit says.. bhai isko du kyaa towchan.
Towchan means the act of carrying away the wrongly parked car by towing it with van. Circuit meant to do exactly the same with that guy.

2. Vantaas, वंटास:
I am not sure how old this word is but I am betting on it being not more than 2-3 years. Vantaas means the act of "leaving whatever you have at hand and running"
Common usage includes.. chal abhi vantaas honekaa.
Some people also use Vantaas for expressing the shagedelic-ness of the object. Common usage includes... Vantaas maal hai baap.

3. GuD, गुड(Spelt as guD):
The word effeminate describes a subset of what गुड encompasses. When asked to express themselves, they tend to come up with phrases like Kuch Kuch Hotaa Hai. The words "Karan Johar" can alternatively be used.
Usage: woh ch***aa saalaa गुड hai.

Wonderful wonderful language. Lage raho Munnabhai.......

Almost childish

2006-08-30T16:20:00.000+05:30

For someone who's pleasure and sorrow is closely related to the availability of good food, life has been pretty good for last three days.

We have moved into the city. Right in front of our office and beneath a tree is a nice little tapri. Cross the road and three good food joints wait for us serving everything from misal-pav to surmai-fry. Go a little further and there is Goodluck cafe, Appa, PD. Take a right and there is Symbiosis Canteen where the young and beautiful flock and chirp. Cross the bridge and you reach the land of जनसेवा दुग्धालय, Bedekar, Ramnath, Baadshahi.

Man!! This place has everything I ever dreamt. ये दुनिया खुबसूरत हो गयी है..

PS: Signing off with this image from a movie directed by one of my favourite directors who died couple of days ago.

मंगल ध्वनि

2006-08-21T11:26:00.000+05:30

Ustad Bismillah Khan is no more. He passed away early morning today at a ripe age of 91 years.

Dr. Watson once said to Holmes that a violin played well, is a treat to gods. One can safely say that in case of Shehnai too. It is a treat to gods, especially when Ustad Bismillah Khan played. He single handedly elevated Shehnai from just another instrument played in temples and darbaars to those in the class of other Hindustani Classical instruments. For me, Bismillah Khan was synonymous to Shehnai. Since childhood up I have been hearing his recordings on all religious occasions at home and at public functions. Getting up early in Diwali for abhyanga-snaan was accompanied by मंगल ध्वनि. So was the case during Dasara, Ganesh Chaturthi or other such functions.

It is next to impossible to have another Ustad Bismillah Khan but may this country bore more people who aspire to follow the footsteps laid by Ustadon ke Ustad.

I leave you with this image of the Ustad which puts me in a idyllic state of mind and brings back alive a world which we are slowly loosing. Quite a telling picture about the simplicity of his life.

Mixed feelings.

2006-07-29T12:01:00.000+05:30

Primarily because I keep getting frand-ship request on Orkut from Pakistani boys! To my discerning readers, let me remind you again....I am myself a guy.

I can understand guys sending frand-ship requests to girls. It is natural. But a guy to another random guy is not natural. And I am natural.

Further, I dont get any frand-ship requests from guys who actually write something in my scrap book. Like for example this guy (lets call him Mr. RK) who wrote the following scrap to me.

*********
R:
Hi friend, I am from Hyderabad city (Andhra Pradesh state).
I am a bathroom singer.I dont not sangeet (RANG, TAAL) But , I can sing nicly.
But, when i go to high pitch while singing my vocal is strucking
I need some hints, tips & suggestion to improve my vocal.
plZ send.......................

Music is an endless thrist................RK
*******

Such a wonderful way to sign-off. I am speechless. If I was Berlin(the band), I would have sung "Take My Breath Away" thereby giving him a hint on how to sing when you are short of breath especially when going to high pitch and when vocal is strucking.

RK, will you be my frandship? Friendship forever..

PS: I am natural (i.e. straight)
PPS: Lets also not talk about why I get no fraindship requests from the F of the S.

On Deep holes, Milk and Toffees

2006-07-24T17:21:00.000+05:30

If you have been following desi media for last couple of days, you would be hearing all about how a child named Prince fell down in a hole, 60 feet deep, and how he was rescued after 50 long hours.
Yesterday I saw the news on BBC too! I could not belive that even our Prime Minister issued a statement expressing his happiness over the childs rescue. And just look at this site. It says:

All of India rejoiced on Sunday as the prayers offered by Hindus,
Christians, Sikhs and Muslims were answered: Soldiers rescued a young boy from a deep irrigation shaft after a 50-hour ordeal.

Times Of India (Worlds first 32 ply toilet paper. A paper which should be used only the next day) has this news on its front page today. Man! I guess we are slowly loosing it.

Anyway spare a thought for the child. He was been fed with milk, chocolates, toffees when he was down there. Entire India(according to many sources) was praying for him. Man dosnt ask for more. Now that he has surfaced, the harsh realities of life face him. He might grow up to regret it. I would have, if I had been in his position. Where else can you get free food and all that just by sitting in a particular place. We have created such a blunder that we now have, amidst us, a person who will grow up to say that the nether world is much better.

In their exuberance to capture the breaking news, our media guys got so carried away that they ignored his real concern. Little did they knew that he actually wanted to stay put. Did they not see him aghast when he was taken out? I feel sorry for the boy. Seriously. I would have stayed in that hole forever.

Okay.. now please comment on my last post. please please please please...

On Omkara

2006-07-19T11:26:00.000+05:30

Vishal Bharadwaj is an amazing talent! First the music of Satya and Maachis which is top class. Then Maqbool and Makdi. And now it is Omkara! The promos of the film look amazing and I am eagerly waiting for the film. May be because I was taken aback by the music. It is top draw man!! And Gulzar has penned the songs! Can it get any better than this?

Talking about Gulzar, I think he is the king of psychedelic lyrics. Consider lines such as: "आ धूप मलू मैं तेरे हाथों मैं... ", "जिसकी ज़ुबान उर्दू कि तरह... ", "कभी नीम नीम, कभी शहद शहद...", "बादलों से काट काट के कागज़ों पे नाम जोडना...", "सारा दिन रस्ते पे खाली rickshe-सा पीछे पीछे घुमता है". The list goes on...

He continues with his ways in Omkara as well and they are throughly enjoyable. I especially liked the title song "Omkara" and "Jag Jaa". The title song is too powerful. Sukhvinder Singh's voice has that rustic appeal which perfectly suites the situation in the song. It is difficult to say what situation would fit the song "Jag jaa". Worth wating for :)

I write here the lyrics of the song "Jag Ja" by Gulzar as I have understood them. There are some places like "तेरा बिछाना, भर भर के दारु, गोलमोहर का टोकरा" which might need some correction. And not to forget his use of lines like जो चाहे ले लो, दशरथ का वदा. These days such analogies are hard to find :)

So here are the lyrics...

जग जा री गुडिया
मिसरी कि पुडिया
मीठे लगे दो नैना
नैनो में तेरे
हम ही बसे थे
हम ही बसे है
है ना?

ओ री रानी
गुडिया
जग जा
ए री जग जा
ओ री जग जा

हलकासा कोसा
सुबह का बोसा
मान जा री
अब जाग जा

नाक पे तेरे
काटेगा बिच्छू
जाग जा
तू मान जा

जो चाहे ले लो
दशरथ का वदा
नैनो से खोलो जी रैना

ओ री रानी
गुडिया
जग जा
ए री जग जा
मोई जग जा

किरनो का सोना
और ओस के मोती
मोतीयोसा मोगरा
तेरा बिछाना
भर भर के दारु
गोलमोहर का टोकरा

और जो भी चाहो
मांगो जी मांगो
बोल जी मेरी मैना

ओ री रानी
गुडिया
जग ज
ए री जग जा

( मिसरी means unpolished sugar crystals. खडी साखर in Marathi.
बोसा means kiss in Urdu.)

The promos got me inspired to read the book. I searched for the text version of Othello at a couple of places. But in vain.

Nevertheless, Omkara! आ रहा हूँ मैं...

PS: There is such a difference in appreciating Gulzar's lyrics and appreciating say .. Sahir Ludhiyanvi's lyrics. It is mentally taxing for me. :)

PPS: Remember the song Mangal Mangal from Mangal Pandey? That genre is called as "Allha" which is sung to infuse warrior spirit when the soldiers are going for war. The song Omkara too belongs to that genre. More about the song here.

A Song

2006-06-21T10:12:00.000+05:30

Sometimes it so happens that you really like a particular song and when people ask you about it you often tend not to go overboard in describing it fearing dilution. Today is an exception.

I write in a state of elevated enthusiasm to proclaim to the readers how a distinguished panel of jury agree with my choice! :)

Outlook's latest issue is on music in Indian cinema. Here is the link. I am reproducing it as it is from Outlook because I am told that this page might expire after a while and/or the user might need a login to see it again.

-------------

20 Best Hindi Film Songs Ever
Outlook asked 30 leading composers, lyricists and singers to name their all-time favourite Hindi film songs. Here are the top twenty.

The Jury
Abhijeet, Adesh Srivastava, Alisha Chinai, Anu Malik, Ehsaan, Gulzar, Hariharan, Himesh Reshammiya, Jatin, Javed Akhtar, Kailash Kher, Kavita Krishnamurthy, Khayyam, Kumar Sanu, Lalit, Loy, Mahalaxmi Iyer, Mahendra Kapoor, Manna Dey, Prasoon Joshi, Rajesh Roshan, Sadhna Sargam, Sameer, Sandesh Shandilya, Shaan, Shankar, Shantanu Moitra, Shreya Ghoshal, Sonu Nigam, Talat Aziz.

Poll conducted By Lata Khubchandani and Namrata Joshi. Each jury member was asked to nominate 10 favourites in no order of preference.
The winners are ranked according to the number of votes each song got.

1. Man re, tu kaahe na dheer dhare
Singer: Mohammed Rafi
Film: Chitralekha (1964)
Music: Roshan
Lyrics: Sahir Ludhianvi

The #1 Song
Man Re Tu Kaahe Naa Dheer Dhare: the Song, the composer, the lyricist

by Partha Chatterjee, Namrata Joshi

The Song

Kidar Sharma’s 1964 remake, in colour, of his B&W classic, Chitralekha, gave his star protege, composer Roshan, an opportunity to prove his mettle. Man re paraphrases a Tulsidas couplet:

"Mana tu kahe naa dheer dharata ab
Dheer dhare sab karaja sudharata."

Though the mukhda was suggested by Sharma himself, the song was written by Sahir Ludhianvi. The lyrics convey the moral dilemmas of a triangle between a samant, bhikshuk and a sensual courtesan. Mohammed Rafi’s singing lifts the heart and Roshan manages to rein in the tendency to over-emote in this otherwise marvellous singer.
In the film, Man re appears in the context of two other songs: a coquettish invitation by the courtesan—Ae ri jane na doongi—and another challenge to the unworldly man’s vow of renunciation—Sansaar se bhaage phirte ho, bhagwan ko tum kya paaoge—both sung by Lata Mangeshkar.
- Partha Chatterjee

The Composer
Roshan (1917-1967)
Roshan Lal Nagrath, better known as Roshan, was gifted with perfect pitch. He came from Gujranwala (now in Pakistan) to Lucknow seeking admission at Marris College of Music. The principal rang the bell on his table and asked Roshan to identify the note—which he did correctly. Soon, he began working in All India Radio as a jaltarang player before heading for the film industry in Bombay.
Kidar Sharma’s Bawre Nain (1950) gave him the opportunity to create memorable compositions like Khayalon mein kisi ke, Teri duniya mein dil lagtaa nahin, Sun bairi balam. K.A. Abbas’ Anhonee (1951) had an exquisite Roshan number, sung by Talat Mahmood, Main dil hoon ik armaan bharaa. However, 1960 turned out to be Roshan’s big year. Barsaat Ki Raat became a huge hit and Naa to karwaan ki talash hai and Zindagi bhar nahin bhoolegi wo barsaat ki raat were on everybody’s lips.
His music in Taj Mahal (1964) is still remembered for Jo vaada kiya woh and Paon choo lene do phoolon ko inayat hogi. Among his other successful films were Aarti (1962), Mamta (1965) and Anokhi Raat (1967). Few composers handled laya (tempo) with such throwaway mastery. "My father was an extremely dedicated person. You could catch him reading music and notations all the time. ‘Ek dhun yaad aa gayee (I suddenly remembered a tune),’ he would say if you caught him awake at 2 o’clock in the night," says his son, filmmaker Rakesh Roshan.
- Partha Chatterjee

The Lyricist
Sahir Ludhianvi (1921-80)
Sahir Ludhianvi may have been most famous for his obsessive love for Amrita Pritam but his songs were not just about the anguish of romantic love. The best of them were about the realities around him—about politics, inequities and injustices. Be it Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya hai and Jinhe naaz hai Hind par woh kahaan hain from Pyaasa (1957) or Chin-o-arab hamara from Phir Subah Hogi (1958), Sahir was effortlessly able to reflect the cynicism and disillusionment of post-Independence India. Yet, he could also sing of hope and optimism amidst all the discontent in Woh subah kabhi to aayegi.His poetry could also be sublime, introspective and deeply philosophical—Utna hi upkar samajh koi jitna saath nibha de/Janam maran ka mel hai sapna yeh sapna bisra de/Koi na sang mare—he wrote in Man re

Sahir’s real name was Abdul Hai and he was the only son of a landlord in Ludhiana. He made his debut with Naujawan (1951), best remembered for the song Thandi hawayen lehrake aayen. His first major success was Guru Dutt’s directorial debut, Baazi (1951). The best of his lyrics were written for films like Hum Dono (1961), Taj Mahal (1964) and Waqt (1965).
However, it was with S.D. Burman that Sahir created some of his most popular songs. The duo reached their creative zenith with Pyaasa (1957), which also marked a parting of ways. Yash Chopra’s Kabhi Kabhie (1976) is said to be based on the poet’s life. "As an Urdu poet, Sahir had developed such a fine sense of phonetics that when he wrote in Hindi, he applied the same sensitivity. Not many Hindi writers could have written songs like the ones in Chitralekha," says Javed Akhtar, in Talking Films, Conversations on Hindi Cinema by Nasreen Munni Kabir.
- Namrata Joshi

Cafe Mondegar or Mondy's

2006-06-20T15:27:00.000+05:30

Very close to Mumbai Police Headquaters/Regal Cinema is a small place tucked away in one corner and goes by the name Cafe Mondegar.

Its an ideal place where you can go any time of the day. We happen to pop in on a lazy sunday afternoon at 4.00-ish and found the place quite crowded. With the sun going down and soft sunshine beaming in, we were at our optimist best. tis' was the time when gay men smoked leisurely, when young crowd listened to their favourite bands and the overall mood was....... well..... gay. And there were all sorts of people. Foreigners, college students, young couples. A small group of guys who were set for some hiking expedition had also hopped in. And then there was a guy who roamed around everywhere in chappalls. Which proves that its quite an accomodating place.

Talking about the ambience, there is a juke box which operates on token coins each costing 5 rupees. Because I knew some names of rock bands, for once I could press the right buttons.

Then there is a draught beer dispenser, some vintage pictures hung on the wall behind the dispenser, wooden furniture and all. What I liked most about Mondy's is that, the walls are painted by Mario Miranda. He has drawn several caricatures all over the place.

Writing about the food..... all sorts of it is available. We got adventurous and ordered something called Veg Au Gratin because menu said it had pineapple in it. Table service is good. Food is good (or atleast I belive it to be.. because I dont know how Veg-au-gratin is suppose to taste). sarkaari was draught, light and warm. Waiters do not insist on speaking in english and did not give me any inferiority complex. So I continued.

The prices match those normally found in such places. Veg-au-Gratin cost us around 100 rupees. sarkaari is again 100-ish for a mug.

You can buy some souvenirs like t-shirts, coffee mugs, etc too.

All in all, its a nice place to go to. Do hop in sometime if you happen to be in the vicinity of this place and are not in a mood to go to Cafe Baghdadi. Just like we were not.

तो एक राग

2006-06-12T12:24:00.000+05:30

बरिस्ता एक राग, पिझ्झा हट एक राग
CCD एक राग, Subway एक राग
छान छान दिसणं एक राग
गोड गोड बोलणं एक राग

ब्लॉग एक राग, कमेंट्स एक राग
ओरकुट एक राग, मेसेंजर एक राग
"About Me" एक राग
"Music is my soul" एक राग

लैला एक राग, मजनु एक राग
राज एक राग , सिमरन एक राग
अंजली एक राग , अमन एक राग
चोप्रा एक राग , जोहर एक राग

पियर प्रेशर एक राग, बियर प्रेशर एक राग
प्यायलो तरी राग, नाही प्यायलो तरी राग
संस्कृती-रक्षक एक राग, विचारवंत एक राग

चौकोन एक राग , फंक्शन एक राग
तो एक राग
ती एक राग

ज्याला आला राग, त्याला "XXXXX" वाघ

- ©

Fanaa - To Perish

2006-06-07T11:43:00.000+05:30

What are the chances, if you assume yourself to be a young lady who is a eager romanticist and also happens to be blind, that you will fall in love, in all of four days, with some unknown man who keeps hitting at you by spewing out sher one after another.

Further what are the chances that you actually end up sleeping with him? You get operated upon and gain back the lost vision. He meanwhile leaves you leaving behind his seeds of love.

He comes to you on a not-so-fine day after braving several injuries, fighting off numerous military men, downing a helicopter, only to find that 1. Your love for him hasnt diminshed and 2. His seed has bore a fruit with the only oddity that he keeps talking about himself in third person. Like "Rehan is angry" or "You dont love Rehan as much as Rehan loves you".

Now he stays with you. You dress his wounds and continue to say cheesy lines like "zindagi mein har kaam akele nahi kiye jaa sakte" with the hope that he will take any clue .... only to the disappointment of the viewers.

Finally let me ask you this.. what is the expectation of this event happening? A fellow falls from a cliff which is atleast 45 Kms(I assume thats why they show the milestone) away from your house and dies. You meanwhile are walking on a frozen river, which is besides your house, to fetch water. Suddenly you see his body passing beneath you and thats how you realise that he is dead.

Sir Roger Penrose once attempted to calculate the probability of the creation of this universe. He says it is 1 in 10 to the power 10 to the power 123. Once a very learned man told me this interesting fact.... he says that the chances that a hurricane passing over a junkyard which has all the parts needed to make an aircraft would actually be able to assemble one, give it some lift and then leave it so that it glids down and lands safely.. the probability of this happening is equal to the probability of the creation of the universe. I am not sure about the validity of this statement. But many people use these as the basis to prove the existence of god.

Those who are worldly wise reach the same conclusion by seeing these highly profound movies by Chopras and Johars. Perhaps it is just the right time to take Sir Penrose for this movie.

I am now waiting for my favourite actor Govinda's latest movie Sandwich[1,2]. That man is a genius!

Addendum: We were all writhing in pain while seeing this movie. And suddenly when Kajol tells the greatest truth of all .."zindagi mein har kaam akele nahi kiyaa jaataa".. we were rolling on the floor laughing. Young couple looked at us in shame, elderly couple with horror. We laughed as if nobody was watching us.
Sometime later, a fellow friend of mine says.."if GoodLuck Cafe is closed now, I am going to become violent" He reflected our mood. Thankfully it was open and we all ate some very good food. BTW, if you insist on eating only veg. food do try Dal Fry Kolhapuri over there. It is deadly spicy. Amazing!!!

Edited on 8th June
PS: We have some really fond memories of our journey's to the eastern part of India i.e. Pune to Kolkata. We have undertaken that journey a couple of times by train. Such a wonderful journey! It cuts across the width of India, so many lanscapes, so many types of people, so many things to see. Once you are in the central parts of India you see boys selling an item called "jhalmudi" in the train. It is nothing but dry-bhel with coconut in it. Taking a clue from this a friend of mine who is also our partner in sin at Peshwa, Chandrama, Great Punjab, Soundarya, Tamanna , et.al. has started a blog. Do have a look here.
By the way the above mentioned names are not those of any dance bars. Incase you were curious about it. :)

PPS: Whats all this fuss about whether Shreesanth lost us the match or whether the missed stumping by Dhoni cost us or whether it was bad decision by Rahul? What the heck! Our Media is such a waste. Really!!
Sometimes decisions go wrong.. That poor guy Shreesanth tried his best. Did they hear what he said after the match? He was so genuine when he spoke about the last over. And yet these shitty people keep blabbering about draw. And then no one is talking about Jaffer!! Such a magnificient innings. One of the best innings in Indian circket. It brought us from 130 runs defecit to 391 runs lead. And what do the media experts namely Nikhil Chopra, Saba Karim and the ilk talk? Really.... our media is hopeless.

To think or not to think

2006-05-25T11:21:00.000+05:30

My friend and I were having our morning tea and contemplating about life in general. He errupted by saying that he dosent want to marry and he has given up thinking. Two seemingly different things these.. marrying and thinking. But a closer observation revealed that they are infact closely tied. Absence of one forces the presence of other. He gave a satisfied smile back thereby reassuring his faith in my abilities of deduction. But then I dont write this to tell you how they are related. I write this to tell you what happened then.

He continued, you know what... this activity of thinking and the consequnces that follows it do only one thing. It increases the entropy of this goddamnnn univ-friggin'-verse.

I said I knew what entropy is and told him how the efficiency of Carnot cycle is calculated. I was at peace when I could tell him the formula.

He did not like my state of calm though and so interrupted. Thats not the point dawg! I mean that there are so many mediums to express your opinion and people lose no opportunity in doing so. But it serves no purpose in putting the world in order. There are e-groups, discussion forums, these blogs, 24 by 7 news channels...

I interrupted him and asked him whether he saw yesterdays news at ten? And also how Amir Khan has taken up a social cause and how Pooja Bedi too cares a lot about the society she lives in and how she very effectively manages wearing short skirts and interviewing politicians at the same time.

He was getting sentimental. He said, you miss my point again. I mean that inspite of so many avenues to express once thoughts, the chaos in the world is increasing. Look at your blog for example. What purpose does it serve? Even if you decide to take up any social issue -which you cant, and even if you decide to write about it-which you would be unable to, and assuming the improbable-impossible to be precise, that people read this-though I know it is a flippant piece of writing, do you think-even though you cant, that it will have any effect of the worldly affairs?

I said.. One, what is the meaning of flippant? Two, can you please write down what you just said?

He said looking towards the sky, The universe tends to evolve as it should.

I said.. haa.. I know this dialog is from the movie "Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle"

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He turned back and started walking.

I said.. by the way please dont give up thinking. Remember the 42 immortal words of a great thinker-I dont know who, who once said "I think, therefore I am".

He broke down, turned back and started walking violently towards me. He even crossed the safe minimum distance between two people and yelled back at me "I am a man, therefore I [beep]"

I immediately came down and wrote this blog. My very intelligent reader will quickly realise the service I have done to this blog world by not writing the word f*** and instead writing [beep]. I think I am on the write track. Sorry right track.

Bob Dylan

2006-05-24T19:56:00.000+05:30

I was initiated to Bob Dylan quite late. It happened to be a lazy summer night when we guys were at our lukkhhaa best, the song Blowin' In The Wind started playing. I took a liking to the song almost instanteneously even though it was about war, peace and shtuff like that.

I started listening to his songs more often and the minstrel-esque quality in his songs appealed to me everytime I heard him. Be it Tamborine Man or Forever Young or Shelter from the storm or any other song of his. His untrained voice, the harmonica, the lyrics ... everything lends a very raw appeal to his songs and they make them more honest too. Thats what I like about his songs.

His song Like a rolling stone remains one of my favourite songs. It was only later that I realised that this song tops the list of Rolling Stones's greatest songs. :)

So this is to Bob Dylan wishing him a very happy 66th birthday.

On bowling, Venky P and drooping self-worth.

2006-05-08T12:24:00.000+05:30

I write this post just for "shining maarneke vaaste" and to boost my sagging self-worth.

So we guys from my company have started playing cricket on weekends. Purchased a sponsered season cricket kit sometime ago. Bats, pads, thigh/chest/arm guards, helmet and not to mention the center pad:D (Now what was so funny about that? Funny how I find these things funny. Funny! Very funny!! Okay.. )

So the ground was booked, nets were put up, mat was layed on a concrete top. The problem with concrete top is that one gets a lot of bounce from it. So a non-leather ball bowler would be decieved by the bounce he gets. I say this because having bowled with rubber-tennis balls, you end not to use your shoulders to extract the bounce. The rubber-tennis balls bounce naturally not the leather one. (I think I better stop here or I might get sue'd by the young Russian lady (Warning: open when your boss is not around. Rating: Mild) and Enrique might get violent. And nothing is worse than hearing Enrique belt out a song in which he passionately cries oh baabyee!!!!)

So... I was quite impressed by my batting. With all the pads, helmet on. I always get a security of somekind and I can bravely face all the bowlers. Some wonderful shots were hit along long off. A lofted drive was hit along the covers. Square cut was hit a couple of times. What I feel good about is the fact that I did not miss any ball because of its pace. But then sometimes I could not get on front foot and so had to go back and cut square. Batting with all the cricket gear on my body makes me a better player on the offside. Those who are not clinically trained in cricket tend to hit ball on the leg, tend to play with cross bat and are not nimble footed. But I played rather well on the effside. (sorry off side. hahahah..... that was funny!!) But I found it particularly difficult to flick on the leg. It is such a elegant shot. I tried to hit one at fine leg I missed it (hahahaha so funny!! I am getting witter .... Anyway thats the story of my life, oh! my gentle caring reader.) Instead, I ended up taking the ball on my toes.

Now! I enjoy bowling more than batting. I get charged up by the feeling of running into the batsmen. I love sledging him, and all that. I have some fond memories of bowling real quick ones. But times they are a changin'. With my increasing girth, things have slowed down. I now compete with Venkatesh Prasad's deceptively bowled quicker one. I was hoping to get a wicket or two. I could not. To put up in Shirish Kanekar's words, I thought I would atleast confuse the batsmen in having him decide whether to bat left handed or right handed while the ball was enroute to him. I could not achieve that too. When I run into the batsmen, I guess the simple harmonic motion set up in belly and the surrounding region gives the batsmen some kind of security. He cant imagine me jumping up high and then bowl (A feat till now achieved only by Lanky Venky and Ashish Nehra.) If this continues for some more time, I can almost imagine the Runner sledging me saying, "hey mate! when was the last time you tied your own shoe lace?". I am yet to find a apt reply to it. Meanwhile let me model myself on Andrew Flintoff. The Kingfisher part is already done. Only a bit more weight and I am done..

Okay, ditch it.. I leave you with my rant for the day..

हवा हो गए वो दिन, जब बॉल तेज़ थी
अब स्पिन करो तो भी क्या!

And for the unicode disadvantaged here is what it says ..

hawaa ho gaye woh din, jab ball tez thi
ab spin karo to bhi kyaa!

Shite!!.. see.. I ended up doing nothing about my drooping self-worth.

PS: 1. I am not as fat as you might think.
2. All the linguists who happen to read this.. tell me one thing.. when I write something in brackets and if that terminates the sentence, do I put a full-stop after the bracket? (). Like this?
Edited 13.36, 8th May.
3. chyaa banaa!! aaichayaa gaavaat!!! .. if I may be bold. ten thousand thundering typhoons!! for those who havent been initiated to the Agri language. I have realised, as I read his post that I somewhat identify with Domain Maximus's this post. Now that inspires me to write a book too!! Poorman's Domain Maximus. Let me internalize it first.. hahahhaahah...

Okay.. I think it shows when your self-worth is drooping.

Jerry Maguire

2006-05-03T11:43:00.000+05:30

I like the movie Jerry Maguire not just because it has Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen but also because it has the song Shelter from the storm by Bob Dylan and to top it all, in one particular scene at Jerry Maguire's house, you can see a cricket bat hung up on the wall. I like the movie just for that. [:)]

On life

2006-04-03T16:37:00.000+05:30

खर्च झाल्याच दु:ख नाही, पण हिशोब लागला नाही की त्रास होतो
.... व.पु. काळे

A few notes on Cricket

2006-04-03T10:11:00.000+05:30

Australia - South Africa test match is delicately poised. If you have been seeing it, especially the sunday's play.. I bet you would be impressed by Makhaya Ntini's bowling. He was bowling with a lot of agression!!! Especially to Bret Lee. He would come over the wicket and just when he is about to deliver the ball, he would side step and bowl wide of the crease giving him enough width to bowl a short pitched delivery angled at the batsmen's ribs.
I like such stuff.... wonderful!! Bret Lee played those pretty well though.

And then, the graphite lined bats have been finally banned. Ricky Ponting was one chap who used those bats. It would be good to see how he bats now. Especially because he plays well square of the wicket and playing square cut needs lot of strength in batters arms. Mathew Hayden(the hulk, the player with no grace, a base-freakin'-ball player, the player whom I hate the most) is one such fellow who could do that regardless of whether he has timed the bowl well or not. Sanath Jayasuriya was another fellow. Ganguly on the other hand played extremely well on the square but his was(/is) complete reliance on timing. It dosnt look like Ponting has got very powerful arms. But then you never know :D.
So with this ban coming into effect, Ricky Ponting becomes the man to watch out for.

And to talk about Mathew Hayden, he does something very peculiar before the start of the match. He goes on the pitch and sits on it for a while to get the feel of what it is. What the heck man! To start with, I think he is the most irritating person in Australian side. Besides all his shots are power shots and they make up for the lack of timing. His whole demeanor on the field is like that of a bully. Remember how after Australia lost the final test match against India on Wankhede he spit on the pitch just to show his frustation. I wonder how this primitive male would respond if anybody does something similar on a Australian pitch. Read more about his histrionics here.. nautanki saalaa..

Some cricketing links 1, 2

These days I dont know what to write.... Aldrin has found a good solution to it though :)

edited on 4th april
PS: Yesterday, Lee bowled out Makhaya Ntini for a duck. :D. Now that must have made Lee really happy.

On the man who tries too hard

2006-03-27T19:37:00.000+05:30

Long time ago, there lived a cap seller. We know his story. Like how his caps were stolen by monkeys and how he tricked them and got his caps back. What we didnt knew was that one cap was missing. Reports suggest that one particular monkey ran away with the cap. This tale is about the same guy who was once gay and laughed heartily and who once drummed heart rendering songs like chammiya and poote ko dhula banaungi. I am indeed talking about Himes.

No this is not a spelling mistake. I am quite sure that in the confines of his family, he is still fondly called Himes though we call him Himesh these days. Yes.... the very melancholic, the very emotional, the omnipresent Himesh Reshammiya.

I see him everywhere these days. He cajoles actors like Deepika Padukone, Minnisha Lamba. Dances around Tanushree Dutta, Udita Goswami. And how? Well... in one of his songs he is shown to have special affection towards a girl. Since childhood up, they have been good friends. She encourages his singing and even gifts him a cordless mike. He is shown to think that she too loves him. But life has its own curious ways. Next scene, her fiance is shown by her side. Emotions overflow. The shock is clearly visible in Himes's eyes.

Now now now.. I thought maybe he needs some advice. Poor guy dosnt know that these are the days when turn and bounce dont relate so much to cricket as much they relate to a beauty pegeant training regime(Ol'Cyrus saying) These are testing times. May be he dosnt know that wearing a cap for protection dosnt go well with the cooldude image he is trying to portray. [;)] The stubble makes him look more depressed than intense. These are cruel times indeed ....

But then, as the song progresses, something very unusual happens. Girls father notices Himes, and just like that his eyes become moist with tears. It seems he is trying to console Himes. Now that was weird! Whose father would try to console his daughters ex-lover? And just like that I realised the truth behind it all. That was when Himes gets all sentimental and tries to take leave of The Father when The Father pulls him back and gives him a toit hug. tiot, toit like a tiger. Is he India's answer to George Michael? Only time will tell us. Though looking at his dressing sense, he can be an answer to Elton John.
But I hope, incase he reads this post he will throw away his cap, bang it on the floor in disgust, in anguish, in the sheer futility of it all and will again drum songs like pyaar dilo kaa mela hai.
Till then please bear with this poster.

fwded by Aditya

On Coca-Cola ad.

2006-03-23T19:50:00.000+05:30

Has anybody seen the latest Coca-Cola ad? The one where Aishwarya is shown to be a college student and a couple of guys trying their hand at eve-teasing?
If you observe carefully, the only guy who is shown reading, is reading a "Strength of Materials" book. [:)]

Hotel Lucky

2006-03-14T16:28:00.000+05:30

Hotel Lucky no longer exists. Bloody fo!
What a place it was! What a wonderful egg-chilly it served! We couldnt taste all the dishes in its menu. How much I wanted to taste its Rogan Gosht! And now will never be! The food "genre" was not Irani, it was Bahai. Good luck cafe is Irani not Lucky.
Such a place. No frills! It was generally open till 12.30AM. Later during the night, you could go in through the back door. A black and white Dev Anands photo it hung right in front of the door! They say it was his hangout when he was in Pune.
All that is now gone. Bloody Fo!
I got talking with Appa about this and he says that "the-guy-from-malvan" is behind all this. B*****d should lose in the next election. He plans to acquire the theater behind it too and build a shopping mall.
Where is my gun?

FYI (&A) ...

2006-02-17T09:31:00.000+05:30

Tonight on HBO "Austin Powers - Gold Member" at 9.00 ... yeah baby, yeah!!

--------------
More on TV tonight .. (21st Feb)

22-Feb-06
01:00 ESPN
Sl Benfica Vs Liverpool Fc
LISBOA, PORTUGAL First Knock-Out Round, Leg #1(L)

01:00 STAR Sports
Real Madrid Cf Vs Arsenal Fc
MADRID, SPAIN First Knock-Out Round, Leg #1(L)

23-Feb-06
01:00 ESPN
Chelsea Fc Vs Barcelona
LONDON, ENGLAND First Knock-Out Round, Leg #1(L)

01:00 STAR Sports
Afc Ajax Vs Inter Milan
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS First Knock-Out Round, Leg #1(L)

-----------
Liverpool Fc is the team!

And Poms are here. I want to follow the entire series, go to Mumbai to watch the test match. Lets see whats in store. Flintoff says he is older and wiser than he was in 2001. So cant expect any off-field action from him:) Kevin Peitersen will be one to watch out for. Poms have a good fast-medium pace attack but they lack quality spin. And then they have a new guy Monty Panesar. Hope they will play him.
Signing off with a Derek Pringle quote ..
"India has a curious way of twisting logic, whereby the previously unthinkable becomes the most natural thing in the world"
Source: cricinfo.com

Love is in the Air (No Holds Barred)

2006-02-06T19:09:00.000+05:30

!! For some, this Darwinesque piece might slid to greater depths of gross talk. Sensitive souls beware!!

**Author aims to prove that this whole Valentines day thing is but a very subtle conspiracy hatched by the losers. **

Peacocks have fanned their tails in an attempt to woo the peahen. Lion's have marked their teritory and are making sure that their harem is safe from intruders. Dogs are sniffing their way through. Male elephant, the most gentle of all lovers, is offering food, splashing water on the female elephant. The male monkey seated on a high tree, vigorously shakes a branch, jumps form one tree to another enthusiastically at the sight of a female monkey. And the most imaginative species of all, the homo-sapien, is getting ready to lookout.

Amongst all the male species, the subcontinent one is quite unique in nature or so the author feels. But little does he know what goes on inside highly evolved F's mind.

The male of this species keeps trying different things. If he has a bike, he will try to showcase his driving(bike that is) skills by doing a front or a rear wheelie. The one he chooses to do is a subtle indication to the F of the things to come. Nodoubt, adventurous F of the S is attracted to the one who did a rear wheelie. Sometimes he wears fancy clothes which has some very suggestive things written on it. For example 69. Quite obviously he is appealing to the intelligent F. Colourful dressings, catchy eye-wear and all.. just like chameleon who changes his skin colour for a singular purpose. The more gifted male goes around in his car. With loud thumping noise playing in his car audio. He shows a tendency to honk to capture F's attention. Clearly an indication to the F on how he likes it to be done. Those not so gifted, accompany him in his car and talk dirty thinking its a man's world. Hardly do they know that talking dirty is not a male prerogative as Britney Spears has rightly said in her song "Hit me baby one more time".

Countryside folks rival well with these urbanites. Though not equipped with appropriate tool(Bikes, Cars, Discman, eye-wear et.al that is) Country life lends its own flavour to the behaviourial patterns of the alpha-male. The author himself has seen one particular alpha-male who had fitted steering wheel to a bicycle instead of a regular handle. But then its not anything different from a urban male who puts on a Honda makeover kit on his Pulsar bike. Raja-babu is a classic movie which yearning mind should study with deep concentration.

In general the alpha male can be easily recognised in a group consiting of both the sexes. His behaviour is very loud. Cracking jokes, which he thinks are very witty, is the mark of such a man. Never rubbish such a male. With his ego hurt, the testesterone loaded alpha male will become violent. Quite like a tiger when he is just getting ready.

But there is something unique about the homo-sapien. Inspite of all these efforts put up by the male, mind of the F of the S hardly wavers. Most of the times she seems lackadaisical.

Oh! the travails of the male. So after intense reasearch and re-runs through his knowledge base, the author finally claims to have found the real reason behind this perceived lack of initative. It is very cleverly depicted in the following image.

PS: It has been observed that blog-writting in the only sport which the alpha-male dosnt seem to indulge in.

Their's not to make reply

2006-02-02T09:42:00.000+05:30

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Suddenly this poem takes on a completely different meaning when it means
Rahul Dravid and Company in place of was there a man dismay'd?
Sachin Tendulkar in place Someone had blunder'd
And ofcourse the keyboard banging sundry when you read their's but to do and die..

But then..
There's test match to write about.
There's Moin Khan to rubbish.
There's unfinished task to do.
And there is this problem to solve..

The Problem being
To devise a strategy to find a curve which lies geomtrically in between Side 1 and Side 2(lets call it mid-curve). Further, two arbitrary curves should be disallowed from being "mid-curved". Fig A looks good, but in Fig B, side 2 deviates a lot from side 1.
Any thing you can suggest? Think about slopes, curvatures et.al.

बोले तो !

2006-01-24T14:59:00.000+05:30

कोड लिख लिख मुआ,
डेवलपर भया न कोय ।
ढाई आखर कॉपी-पेस्ट का,
करे सो डेवलपर होय ॥

Musings

2006-01-11T13:52:00.000+05:30

The second most frustrating thing for bachelors(staying away from home) is the ignorance of the existence of a elegant, graceful, composed girl in his own building.
Mysterious, enchanting, slim, sturdy, wheatish, sharp featured!
And she walks fast!!

------

Gorakhpuriyaa got engaged last week. He and his fiancee's brother got talking one day when he started asking..
FB: ab engineering toh ho hi gayi hai.., MBA karnekaa kuch plan hai?
G: ummmm.. nahi
FB: job shift marne kaa kuch plan hai??
G: ummmm... socha nahi
FB: PhD keliye try kar rahe ho?
G: ummmm... nahi!
FB: hmmmmm

Gorakhpuriyaa said to me.. "saalaa har answer par mein uski nazaron se girte jaa rahaa thaa"

Ashes of the East

2006-01-09T17:00:00.000+05:30

Inzamam is to be blamed! His icy cool demeanour on and off the field has taken the fire away from India's Pakistan tour. Rahul Dravid rivals him in that respect. No pre match comments, no war of words. But there is no denying that India-Pakistan cricket match is one of the greatest spectacle in modern cricket. It is as good as England-Argentina or Brazil Argentina football match.
Shoaib is getting ready. His slower ones has troubled many English batters. They seemed to have no clue about the ball. But I guess, it is not that difficult to spot the difference in Shoaib's action when he is about to bowl a slower one. Notice that when he runs up to the crease to bowl a slower bowl, his arms are relatively apart from what they would have been when he is bowling real quick.

So if you want to keep yourself updated about this wonderful show, stay tuned here.

--------

Timetable:
1st Test - Lahore : Jan 13 - 17
2nd Test - Faisalabad : Jan 21 - 25
3rd Test - Karachi : Jan 29 - Feb 2

1st ODI - Peshawar : Feb 6
2nd ODI - Rawalpindi : Feb 11
3rd ODI - Lahore : Feb 13 (D/N)
4th ODI - Multan : Feb 16 (D/N)
5th ODI - Karachi : Feb 19

---------

And here is how bagh-e-jinnah in Lahore looks like. A wonderful ground with typical Victorian setting....

कहत बेतुक सुनो भाई साधो..

2005-12-27T19:27:00.000+05:30

मुवी देखन जो मै गया,
थिएटर मिलया न कोय ।
सबहु थिएटर मेहेंगे,
"विजय" से सस्ता न कोय ।

समझ-भुझ मन मीत पियरवा,
ले गयो उसे मल्टीप्लेक्स ।
सोचा दिखाई प्रेम का मारग,
मिलया सिर्फ़ इंफ़िरिओरिटी कांप्लैक्स।

Pleasure in Pain

2005-12-22T11:18:00.000+05:30

Before the perverted mind jumps to hasty conclusions after reading the title, let me tell you that I am talking about the dining pleasure..
garam wada-pav with fried and salted green chilly, then a hot plate of sample-pav (this term is primarily used in Pune and further east/north/south. It is nothing but misal minus the chivda-farsan). It has to be so hot that a mere spoonful should be able to give you a kick. Consider that you have got the kick when you suddenly start feeling cool air on your skull. This is because sweat secreated on your skull begins evaporating. That my dear friend is the kick. And as soon as you finish it.. have a steaming hot cutting chai, pani kam.
khallaassssssss

Test Match Series

2005-12-14T18:17:00.000+05:30

A wonderful test match and Kumble deserved the man of the match award. On the first day, I heard Javagal Srinath saying.."Its almost same identical shot at the covers":) Not to mention that Gambhir needs to tighten himself a bit. He commits himself forward, so a inswinging delivery will always ruffle his pads. Vaas got him on both the occasions. Ganguly is no more in the team. Too many things happening at once.
Now may I draw your attention to a wonderful series coming up. Its Australia v/s SA. The verbal volleys have already begun with Pat Symcox adding fuel by saying that Proteas will be sweeping Warnie this time. Warnie ofcourse replies to them by saying that by the end of the series they would need psychiatric.
Remember how Parore once shouted "c'mon warnie" when Daryl Cullinan was batting and his bat fell down. :)

Man!! 16th is the day. WACA in Perth.

On "gheun taak" ( घेऊन टाक वर )

2005-12-09T17:37:00.000+05:30

One is offended by what is written above. Some gentle readers might also ask what is the spirit of "gheun Taak"?

One: Bad.. very bad. It is outright offensive. It so prominently appears on your page. Arent you ashamed? Ghanerdya.. dirty mind. Sick!

Bright side of The Man (perpetual smile, like a saint): The spirit of gheun taak is not what it appears to be. If you were from Mumbai, you would easily identify what it means. Infact it is anything but sick. It embodies what Rajnikath does to his opponents. Now look.. (interrupt)

One: There you go again.. dirty mind.. ghanerdyaa

Bright side of The Man(perpetual smile, like a saint): Let me complete. I was saying that he just does it. He can light a cigarette, shoot from a gun, create thunderstorms with his feet all at the same time. This is what is called gheun taak. Achak means achak only! Now think of Mithun, He embodies gheun taak. He drinks desi-tharraa, beats bad guys, wooes the lady.. all at the same time. This is gheun taak. aey saalaa..

One: asa mhaNatoys tu? (So thats what you say it is?)bar.. paN elucidate further....

Bright side of The Man(perpetual smile, like a saint): Okay.. Now read this. What does it mean? gheun taak only! See this. What does it mean.. gheun taak-ach.. Now see this.. (interrupt...)

Dark side of The Man(with droopy eyes): Chuppbe.. spirit of gheun taak ekich hai.. Kingfisher Mild. gheun taak.. hic!!

One: tumhi doghahi ghaanerde aahaat (You both are sick, dirty and hopeless). Dada Kondake, David Dhawan, Shakti Kapoor rolled into one!

B to-the A to-the B to-the A

2005-12-01T18:07:00.000+05:30

arey arey arey arey ....
This is how the background score goes in a Rajnikanth movie when he makes an entry. Rajni-the real man from India. The man with skills aplenty. The man who creates cyclones just by moving his feet. The man who creates a extreme high pressure zone between himself and the bad guy just by punching his hand in air. (And then we see the bad guy being tossed up in air)
His stories are told all over. Men watch him and expereince a surge in their testosterone levels. Nothing matches his influence. Such is the style.

Well, one year ago I entered into the world of blogging by writing this. On the occasion of completing one year of blogging, what could be better than writing about the great artist himself? So here's a english version of one of his tamil songs. (I received a mail yesterday. The translator's identity is unknown) Let this song be a reminder to all of us about :

helping the needy,

beating the greedy,

pluck the weedy,

love the lady,

all this with a bidi!

I AM AUTOFELLOW

I am autofellow autofellow
Four route knowing fellow
Rate having justice fellow
Good people mix fellow
Nice singing song fellow
Gandhi borning country fellow
Stick take means hunter fellow
Big people's relation fellow
Mercy having mind fellow da
I am all poor's relative fellow da
I am always poor people's relative fellow da
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only

Town become big, population become big
Bus expecting, half age over
Life become hectic in time, exist in corner of street
Ada eye beat means love coming they telling
You hand clap means auto coming I telling
Front coming look, this three-wheel chariot
Good come and arrive, you trust and climb up
Mercy having mind fellow da
I am always poor people's relative fellow da
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only; Gumuk means gumuk only

Mummy motherfolk, danger not leave
Heat or cyclone, never I never tell
There there hunger take means, many savoury
Measurement food is one time
For pregnancy I come free mummy
Your child also name one I keep mummy
Letter lacking person ada trusting us and coming
Address lacking street ada auto fellow knowing
Achak means achak only ; Gumuk means gumuk only
Achak means achak only ; Gumuk means gumuk only

PS: That this blog is a work of a demented mind is commonly held belief. Agreed! What you may not know is that the mind is demented further. I keep getting violent thoughts and so far, for one year, I have kept them away from my blog. But atleast today I will pen them down. kyaa pataa .... kal ho na ho! :))
So if I had power to change anything, I would:
1. Kill Karan Johar, Aditya Chopra, Ram Vilas Paswan, Leftists.
2. Make Aish-war-ya realise that she is the worst actor and has no utility besides standing still as a doll in Madam Tussauds museum. I would also like her to move completely to Hollywood. That would be the ultimate revenge we can take, besides that would rid Bollywood of plastic.
3. Burn all prints of movies like Neal-n-Nikki, KHNH, Salaam Namaste, et.al.
4. Make sure TOI (worlds first 32 ply toilet paper - a term coined by some guy in IITB) is out of circulation. The only way for them to be in business would be to stop printing all the crap that they have been printing so long.
Written on: 5th-Dec-2005 @ 0946 hrs

The real reason

2005-11-28T14:34:00.000+05:30

You guys have misunderstood the last post. I actually wanted to bring out the plight of our friendly neighbourhood bhaiyaa who has often complained in private circles that ..

ई पईसावली औरत लोग भईया भईया बोल के हमके बडी परेशानी मे डाल दिहले बारी सभे। ससुरा कौनो चम्पाकली भी हमके भईया ही बोलेले। ईब का करी समझिये मे ना आवत बा।

(एक ठो सब्ज़ीवाला इ बोलत हुए सुनल गईल.... )

On Potatoes and Languages

2005-11-25T17:04:00.000+05:30

I read this article last Sunday so wanted to write something on it.. and now Nku writes this. Quite relevant I say. Especially when we hear upper class urban ladies(UCUL) saying.... "bhaiyaa, yeh patetoes kaise diye?" (Potatoes is spelt here as it is said by UCUL).

PS: I do remember that I had voiced some strong views about Sudheendra Kulkarni who happened to be the speech writer for L K Advani during his Pakistan visit this year. But after having read his articles in Indian Express, I am forced to think in a different way. Maybe he had thought of educating the entire populace ... which is impractical. So I am still not in agreement of his views on Jinnah.

Is God Indian?

2005-11-15T20:05:00.000+05:30

Sometimes the success of a story lies in the fact that it shows its readers a new direction in thought. Whether it satisfies the questions in raises is a different matter altogether but it atleast shows a different perspective. I experienced something similar after I read a short story "The Man Who Was" by Rudyard Kipling.

One tends to compare his country with other western countries based on what he has heard of/read about. For example consider cities like Pune, Nashik, Dilli, Kolkata, Banaras which are all situated along rivers. Purely on cosmetic level, one can easily observe that these river banks are one of the ugliest places in those particular cities. Quite a disturbing fact. One can extend the same anology to the beaches of Mumbai. Thiruvananthapuram, Goa, Konkan are a few hounarable exceptions but thats because the economics of these places depend on its cleanliness.

And then I read this:
(The character of Dirkovitch is a Russian army personnel)

------
The White Hussars were as conscientious in choosing their wine as in charging the enemy. All that they possessed, including some wondrous brandy, was placed at the absolute disposition of Dirkovitch, and he enjoyed himself hugely—even more than among the Black Tyrones. But he remained distressingly European through it all. The White Hussars were “My dear true friends,” “Fellow-soldiers glorious,” and “Brothers inseparable.” He would unburden himself by the hour on the glorious future that awaited the combined arms of England and Russia when their hearts and their territories should run side by side, and the great mission of civilising Asia should begin. That was unsatisfactory, because Asia is not going to be civilised after the methods of the West. There is too much Asia and she is too old. You cannot reform a lady of many lovers, and Asia has been insatiable in her flirtations aforetime. She will never attend Sunday-school or learn to vote save with swords for tickets.
------

Now it hasnt answered any questions, but it surely has shown a different perspective. It probably might help in explaining why our traffic situation is so bad? Or why all our cities tend to grow so arbitrarily and exhibit no planning whatsoever? Or why none of our political organization exhibit any coersion towards one common goal? Or why the only social heirarchy we understand is autocracy. (One Sonia and Congress party is a success, two-three-four power centers and BJP fails. One Imran Khan and Pakistan wins the world cup. One Saurav Ganguly and we fight the Aussies like no one has fought) Point to be noted is that democracy is a western concept which we have embraced.

May be we are just too old to be changed with solutions to each of these problems at microscopic level. Quite a dark prospect indeed. Now this proves that God has to be Indian for she has survived so long.

Psychoanalysis

2005-11-08T14:33:00.000+05:30

There is, somewhere in the corner, that part of heart of the Great Indian Alpha Male, which is satisfied when he reads this:

When I had plenty of free time, they(girls) were all busy. Now that I am busy they suddenly seemed to have found lot of free time.
- Sehwag, before marraige, talking about his excursions as a part of bachelor life.

Am I right? What is the reason behind this behaviour? Any clue?

Travelogue, Cricket and stories less told.

2005-11-02T15:33:00.000+05:30

Here is a link for our Sikkim Travelogue: HTML version written and formatted completely by Amit Shenoy.
-----

I have got tickets for tomorrows ODI against SL. Aditya, self and a fellow collegemate/collegue have all taken a days off for the same. My last experience of watching a cricket match was quite a memorable one. India against Australia, 4th test at Wankhede. The test got over in close to 2 days!! Looking forward to tomorrows one-day now.
-----

And now about something which has been on my mind but had no time to write it down. If you have been reading last month's news papers and have recollection of some events even farther in time you would see some news articles published on Intelligence. Quite a lot has been happening in those circles.
Remember how(1, 2) a RAW 'operative' named Major Rabinder Singh fled to America? And then the most recent news being the publishing of Mitrokhin Archives which though had hardly 5% of its pages on state of affairs in India, was talked about quite a lot. Here is one link in case you are interested.
And now do you remember there was a news(1, 2) in TOI on how some guys from the Punjab Police rowing team went missing in US? One in inclined to see such news under different a light when things like these happen.
More on this later..
----

Sikkim Photos

2005-10-26T12:17:00.000+05:30

A travelogue is under construction with contributions from all of us who trekked..
Meanwhile here is the link to the photos..

Good times..

2005-10-25T13:33:00.000+05:30

India v/s Sri Lanka
Australia v/s West Indies
NZ v/s South Africa
Pakistan v/s England

Good times are here again..

Just Did It

2005-10-24T16:06:00.000+05:30

Back from a successful trek. 5000 m was the maximum altitude we acheived, ~100km is what we walked and all this spread over 8 days. On the last day of climb, we touched rate of almost 200m/hr of climb/descent. :) This I think is amazing especially at those heights.

Got home one of the spiciest chillies in world. They are called as dalle-khoorani in those parts of the world. They look like cherries but are deadly hot..

more later..

Because it's there

2005-10-07T09:06:00.000+05:30

9.06AM:
British mountaineer George Leigh Mallory was asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest, and replied, 'Because it's there'. The answer became famous, not least because Mallory himself was lost on Everest in the following year. It was sometimes suggested that he and his fellow-climber Andrew Irvine, who were last seen 'going strong for the summit', might in fact have reached it before their deaths, but there was no proof.
In May 1999, 75 years later, the body of George Mallory was found on Everest, and the press coverage surrounding the discovery focused again on Mallory's 'Because it's there' as a statement summarizing the mountaineer's reasons for climbing. One such report quoted from Robert William Service's `Dauntless Quest', which was inspired by Mallory's words:

Why seek to scale Mount Everest,
Queen of the Air,
Why strive to crown that cruel crest
And deathward dare?
Said Mallory of dauntless quest
`Because it's there.' :)

----------------------------

12.54 PM:
Okay, so I am leaving for Sikkim today. We will be going to Howrah, take a train to New Jalpaigudi and then go to Yuksum in Sikkim. That would be our base camp. The trek would probably start on next Tuesday or Wednesday. The highest we would go is 5000 meters which is almost as high as the Kanchejungha base camp. It is a 8 days trek. After which we trace back the same route we took to Yuksum.
God willing, we will be in Pune on 24th.

Leaving you with what George Mallory has to say....

"The first question which you will ask and which I must try to answer is this, 'What is the use of climbing Mountains?' and my answer must at once be, 'It is no use'.
There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behavior of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron. We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food. It's no use. So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. That is what life means and what life is for."

-George Mallory

-------------------------

A bit controversial

2005-10-05T11:03:00.000+05:30

A hoarding near chatushrungi depicts two fish, one kept in a big bowl and the other kept in a crumbled plastic bag filled with water. The hoarding says class wars are back. It is some advertisement for a residential complex which takes pride in the amenities it provides.
Radio advertisement by a Saree shop called Peshwai. It says.."uchha, shrimant abhiruchi sampanna gharaann saathi" Which in english means.. for High class, rich, refined households.
Another hoarding which says "tell with pride that we ate at XXXXXX"
And so on and so forth...

Dont you think there is something wrong here?

Obituary

2005-09-27T13:40:00.000+05:30

Last monday, someone who dosnt know me at all but was a part of my dining excursions in Pune for last 10-12 years, died. I am talking about the grand-fatherly man who use to sit at the badshaahi counter. He left us all on 19th of this month.
He should have been 90+ years old and was ill for quite some days. It was really inspiring to see him sit at the counter managing people even at that age. Sometimes when in good mood, he often smiled at people. I remember his reaction when a couple of girls had just finished their dinner and had come to the counter. He smiled at them affectionately and enquired to one of them whether whatever she is wearing is stiched or a ready-made piece? What amused me was that she was wearing jeans. :)
He lent a perculiar character to that dining hall and his absence will be felt for a long time.
May his soul rest in peace.

----

On the state of economy and appropriate profession

2005-09-23T17:28:00.000+05:30

I feel humbled. This, I presume, happens with every human being at some stage in his life. But providence had some different plans. I was humbled a bit too soon. Never before have I felt the intensity of the song, sab kuch seekha humne, na seekhi hoshiyaari so strongly.

After fighting so much, after braving the maddening local train crowds for six years, after braving the life in region of highest population density (The Emirates), after braving the 8.30PM lectures, after braving the entire college education sans pretty faces, what do I get?

Here I am going around bank and insurance people asking for money and protection. And look at her, all of 25 and she has a bungalow in Mumbai worth 87 Lakhs(8.7 million) rupees. The only consolation is the fact that there is not much difference as we both seek the similar things. Except that as far as money is concerned, one commands it and the other fights for it. While about protection: one begs for it, while I command it. That is to say that: I pay the insurance premium. (Note how wonderfully the word protection is twisted and played with. Clearly a genius at work)

Some people indeed have their priorities set. She knew what she wanted. She had the requisite skill and a style to show, the skill that is. Bollywood was lured, so was Dubai and even Sri Lanka. Cultural invasion at work. And we cry hoarse on how America is influencing our culture. Look here, at Deepa bar that it is, and you see optimism all around …. glowing faces, golden liquids, happy people and dancing ladies… good times for many. And look here, at this cubicle that is, what do you see? There is no comparison. We both work for money but she can bet rupees 10 lakhs(1 million) while I have to make sure that my meal coupons are delivered in time. That’s why I was humbled. I was also frustrated that sab kuch seekha humnei naa seekhi hoshiyaari ... chaylaa. Never thought that it would go such a waste. Such a profession she has selected! Greater the economic depression, more is the frustrated youth and hence more its business. Unlike this profession which increases frustration with booming economy. But now I know. Besides these days with the rising petrol prices one is increasingly finding it difficult to sustain himself. May be I should learn something new.

I looked at you, you looked at me
aur hogayi mushkil..
dus bahaane karke le gayaa dil.. le gayaa dil
dus bahaane karke le gayaa dil..
Here now here now, everybody put your hands up in the air now…..
Say here now, here now…

Get my point?

Tagged!

2005-09-19T22:31:00.000+05:30

# In particle physics, tagging is the technique of detecting a particle coming out of a process in order to obtain information (from kinematics ) about a particle which is not detected. While in biochemistry, tags can serve multiple purposes. They can aid purification or detection. Tags can also be the basis for non-covalent construction of new nanostructures. Now I am sure Di must have had detection, obtaining information, purification, and better construction in mind when she tagged me. But thick skin helps me overcome all the sarcasm. :)
Anyway here is what I am expected to do and keeping with the spirit of this blog, I will write about stuff in the reverse order in which they appear. Here it goes…

5 Favourite toys:
Frankly speaking this is the worst possible question to be asked to a person who thinks like Austin Powers. Nevertheless, my wisdom (coupled with chivalry which makes Abhishek Bachhan envious) I say that my favourite toys are:
My Radio (Philips, Bahadur model), My Mobile (it has become a necessity these days), My Bicycle (got one recently), My Bike, …...this is harder than I thought… My cricket bat (but it is in bad shape now)
Now, I am not possessive about things except may be the radio and also mobile because it has quite a few contacts. But let me tell you something… I am slowly trying to move away from all extra paraphernalia that goes with the modern urban male (I am not talking about sailors here) Long ago I gave away the wrist watch to my brother. My aim is to give away even my computer to someone more responsible so that I can move higher up in life.

5 Greatest Joys:
Aah!
Well, singing while driving/riding makes me happy and also long drives.
Watching movies and marathi plays makes me happy too!
And then, we use to play box-cricket in college backyard with coconut tree branch as our bat (seriously), sheet-container as stumps. And man! it was amazing. We use to spin ball like nobody’s business. It was just too much fun.
Playing Age of Empires - Age of the Kings for hours together. I use to play this wonderful… wonderful game with my wingies over LAN. H9 was our hostel and west wing ground floor was anyway known for lukkhas. Fortunately my friends shared the passion for this game too. There have been numerous times when we did a complete night out and at around 5.00 in the morning we would go to maddu mess to eat dosa. Boss….. that was some experience. Amazing Dosa for 5 rupees! Max Payne is another such game which we played like crazy.
Sleep. Especially after we had played AOE for the entire night.
Banarasi saadaa with chutney, asmaan-taaraa (thanDak) and when I am in adventurous mood a bit of navratan-kivaam.
Five over right???

5 favourite TV shows:
Well, I remember some shows that were shown on Doordarshan when I was a kid. Malgudi days, yeh jo hai zindagi, mungeri lal ke haseen sapne, nukkad, hum log, Buniyaad (I remember this because it had one artist whose name was Abhinav, Abhinav Chaturvedi). I have also seen a few episodes of Yes Minister and I totally liked it.
A good Civil Servant must be able to use language not as a window into the mind but as a curtain to draw across it.
Or
Bernard: I want a clear conscience.
Humphrey: A clear conscience?
Bernard: Yes.
Humphrey: When did you acquire a taste for such luxuries?
I like this.

5 things I would never wear in public:
Now.. I find it absolutely fine to roam around on F.C Road wearing slippers. So such a question is wrongly targeted. But then I would avoid certain things like white trousers, safari suit, white leather shoes, skin tight tshirts.. thats it I guess... cant think of anything more.

5 places I would run away to:
Thiruvananthapuram, Goa, Alappuzha - Kerala, Any national parks like Dandeli, Kaanha, Sunderban, Ranthambore, Bandhavgadh, et. al.

5 things I would do with $100 million:
(Ladies please excuse)
In the movie Office Space, there are these two guys, one working in a construction firm and other working as a software engineer(SE). They are neighbours. SE comes home one day pretty frustrated with his job. Construction worker (CW) comes over his place and when both are sharing a drink, the brooding SE asks the CW what he would do if he gets 1 million dollars. CW is pretty clear in his outlook towards life. He says…"I will have two chicks at the same time. What will you do?" He asks the SE. SE is obviously confused for he doesn’t know. But then he answers "You mean apart from having two chicks at the same time?" CW smiles away and says yes.. SE says he will just sit around and do absolutely nothing.

5 Snacks:
I love food. Samosa's, chat, dosa's, idli's, pohe, upma, wada pav, misal, parathas, nashik chivda.. actually all types of chivdas (ramchandra bhagwant chivde-waale to laxminarayan chivda..just any type of chivda), bun-omelette, damn it.. I love food.

5 Bands I know all the words to:
Di, Excuse my english but I dont understand this question at all. If you want to know what I listen.. then the list is huge.. In english I tend to listen to Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Doors, mostly classic rock. (I acquired this taste in music in IIT).

Yesterday:
Went with my roomie for dinner, was singing a song from baaton baaton mein .. suniye, kahiye.. when he interrupted and said.. paN karaayalaa koNi tari vegaLaach chaylaa.. (non-marathi guys, forget it.. it is trageic. Okay I will try to explain. karaayalaa in hindi means karne keliye.. shaadi karne ke liye ....chamkaa? )

One year ago:
I was in Pune just like I am now and had been to Dandeli sometime ago. But the gloom was all over us. The amount of XX chromosomes had gone down in our company. Someone whom we all watched administering bike, car, and her boyfriend(enemy no. 1) with equal ease had left the company and the country. (The only thing that made me happy in those days was that I always use to get a smile (or was it laugh? shaaiza!! Aditya you know it right?)

Five years ago:
Well, I was in Fourth year(or third?). I loved Mechanical Engineering and was doing well. I was inspired by my senior who scored very good marks in GATE. This was also the time when I was confused over campus placements. Frankly speaking I did not want to appear for any software companies. But then I use to think.... should I not learn new things? Those were the days when Infosys share value had touched 8K. They talked about all the good things in the offing. I use to change my opinion often thinking that I will be a loser if I dont seize the moment. I was confused all the time. I was selected in Siemens, a core mechanical company and it made me happy.
Rest as you may not know is philosophy.

Ten years ago:
I was in 10th standard. Cricket was in full swing. We use to spend a lot of time hanging out with boys and cracking jokes, making fun, playing during recess and all that.
I dreamt of higher studies in Mathematics because I simply loved it. Then learnt that my friends sister has taken admission in engineering and she has to do carpentry, forging, fitting, plumbing etc, in her first year. I was filled up with the idea of doing all these. So I alternatively wanted to be either Mechanical engineer or a Civil Engineer. Both these fields always appealed to me and they continue to do so even now. I have become the former but with a difference. Its not bad though. :)

And now the most important stuff....
It makes me think what this blog is all about? I am not someone who tells his story in the blog. This is not the media where I would like to share personal stuff. To top it all, I feel if I share my greatest joy’s over here, I will loose them someday. Which renders the things I would do with $100 million, my greatest joys, things which happened 5years ago, 10 years ago, not correct, partly correct, correct but not complete, correct but irrelevant, respectively. So just to be true to myself, I say that I have given miss-a-baulk to certain things.

Yours truely.

PS: I tag Aditya, namoona, Mukund, Devyaa and Nku. inci-vinci is spared

Social Cause

2005-09-12T13:45:00.000+05:30

It can be clearly seen that my blog is about social issues. I have taken up the cause of Indian Politics, benefits of having dance bars, social issues in Kazakhstan, etc. So only the flippant and the jealous will say that the blog has got nothing to do with social concerns. Hence just like all my previous posts, this one is also on concerns about a community who have got their fundas right. I indeed talk about the Aagri community.

My friend Devyaa, who ambitiously calls himself JupiterThinks compared the above image with the one commonly found in the City of Diwa. His geography is obviously wrong. The above image is by my favourite cartoonist Mario Miranda and he has painted a scene from some place in Goa. Amongst many other reasons, I like Miranda’s work because he reminds me of my school days when we had his paintings as illustrations in our Balbharti text books.

Swiftly moving on, half of you would not know where the heck Diwa is and what has it got to do with Aagri community. So here is some more information. On central line if you go down beyond Thane you get a sleeply little village called Diwa between Mumbra and La república de Dombivli. The Republic of Dombivli, my dear thirsty friends, you may or may not know. But let me tell you, that it is a world famous in Mumbai for three things: Mosquitoes, Sisterly young girls to whom when asked, will you marry me, always replies, tulaa laaj kashi naahi waaTat (English: aren’t you ashamed? ) and thirdly Highest population density exceeded only at Laloo Prasad Yadav’s residence during Rabri’s birthday bash and during football match at Maracan Stadium in Brazil (in that particular order) Infact I lied when I said world famous in Mumbai, actually people from Bombay town say where the heck, people in Dadar - Matunga - Ville Parle say what the heck and people in other suburbs say why the heck, when asked about United Emirates of Dombivli.

Anyway, smoothly moving on to main topic, Aagri male is the most stylish male in India. They are the real cool dudes of this country. He wears White trousers, spotless white shirt, shining white shoes. He will always have a gold chain on his neck and black goggles. Aagri women too are not far behind. She wears the 9-yards saree, with gold jewelry that would put Bappi Lahiri to shame. The only hitch is that she generally tends to wear paragon slippers.
This Aagri community now lives in Vashi, Kalwa, Diwa, United States of Dombivli and few more nearby places. It was the only community in The States some 50-60 years ago. Slowly people migrated to the land of plenty (mosquitoes) and The States started flooding (with water and it continues till date). As a result the native community got sidelined. This community now alleges the imperialists for destroying their culture and imposing theirs. The most prominent being the natives who had distaste for schooling, had to go to one. It was clearly an assault on this once peaceful group, who lived happily. It was too much for them. They became violent and have stuck to their stance since then. I agree with them. What’s the use of studying in The States when all you have are schools which under the name of culture think that raksha-bandhan should be celebrated through-out the school. The Aagri male which rejects all forms of dominance was quick to see the threat and withdrew from the schooling itself. The other sundry with small dreams had no option but to continue with the schools. No wonder they are a timid lot. Everytime a hopeful Aagri male goes to school, he has quit it for the Girls in The Socialist Republic refuse to change their stance.

Keeping with the topic, the point I make is, the above image is one of those revered places for one and all where people go to forget their past(especially people from Federal Democratic Republic of D. and those who have done schooling there) and such a place is possible only because of these cool dudes. Every community plays a role in development of a society. Aagri community has been in forefront of that. They have enriched marathi literature by words like chyaa-banaa, bhini-z****, gaai-banyaa, and heart warming songs like malaa lagin karaay paahije, o malaa lagin karaay paahije. (English: I want to get married oh! I want to get married) I also belive that these are the only people which can bring that ultimate symbolic thing of a developed community which the world calls rap. They are already equipped with the looks, the style and the language. Besides their normal conversation is lyrical enough for singing rap.
So listen up yo!! Within you lies the spirit which rejects dominance, the spirit which rejects to be bogged down, a fighting spirit indeed and the above image will keep you reminding the same.

Bow down to the bow wow..

PS: With templates being under constant change, image is put up to retain the validity of what he has written.

Blank

2005-09-08T10:35:00.000+05:30

I dont know what to write. I just want to be in a world as suggested by the image above.

wahaan koun hai teraa musaafir, jaayegaa kahaan.
dum lele ghaDi bhar, ye chaiyaa paayegaa kahaan..
wahaan koun hai teraa....

Outside leg stump..

2005-08-29T19:23:00.000+05:30

Everytime Ashley Giles takes a wicket, Aussie batsmen goes to the pavilion swearing at Giles. When asked about their behaviour, one frustrated Aussie said, that bloke thinks that we have got our eyes on our asses.
Unperturbed, Giles however continues to bowl outside leg stump.

PS: I wrote the above thing short while ago and then I read this..
"Whether we win or lose, we relish creating a bit of an arse-nipper."
Ashley Giles on the Test series that has been a little too close for comfort

:))

Behold the Puneri ..

2005-08-25T10:29:00.000+05:30

Words are not enough to describe the experiences you get when living in Pune. These are some telling images of what I mean.

The last one, I strongly feel, is from Badshaahi - a lodging-boarding-mess hall at the intersection of Tilak Road and peru gate road. To all those who havent been here, this is a place to be. Quintessential Puneri. This place full of all such Puneri paaTyaas. They are all in Marathi with an occasional one in Hindi too. A few examples are like no complaints will be tolerated if the curry is not of your preference. Please check before you take the meal coupon. Or We do not sell ghee, curd, butter and milk. Now Badshaahi has been in business of serving only meals since last 50-60 years. Who would go there to ask for ghee, butter, milk, etc?
I along with one of my friend are planning to go around pune-tees and capture such images. I have already marked quite a few such places. Mobile with a camera is what we need. Till then enjoy these pearls of wisdom which will enlighten you. More on Badshaahi, its people, its food and its ambience later.

PS: Thanks to Amol for forwarding these images.

On death, resurrection and India

2005-08-23T20:28:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I died several deaths. Like everything in life, this piece of information too has some negative aspect to it and that being: I could still manage to write this blog. I was watching a music channel named ETC. It was showing some movie promos and music videos. Then I heard something which lead to my downfall. It was thus: Gulshan Kumar presents romantic rendezvous with Kumar Sanu. Every word apart from presents and with killed me. I died precisely eight times.
Imagining Gulshan Kumar, romatic rendezvous and Kumar Sanu at the same time was too much for my brain. Imagining them independently itself is too painful. (Except romantic rendezvous which I cant imagine)

But I was restored when I saw Cadbury’s ad. Since my readership is spread far and wide, to you all who are not in India, there is a Cadbury commercial featuring Amitabh which centers around the theme of pappu pass ho gayaa. Pass is a generic word used for topics ranging from examinations to girls. One such ad features a very beautiful Raima Sen.
A guy with thick rimmed specs has already proposed her. Raima enters the corridor dressed elegantly in white salwar-kameez with a flowing deep blue dupatta(She looks amazing) The guy says something to Raima. What restored me was the way she, very lovingly holding his chin, says “jhooooooot jhoot”. Ah! that innocent yet teasing smile. Man I was floored!

India is indeed delicately poised for she can go either way.

Song for all seasons

2005-08-15T18:58:00.000+05:30

For last couple of days I have been going around the world of bloggers reading about their political views, movies they watch, music they listen, books they read, so on and so forth. And belive me, they all have great taste.
I read, within a span of 15 mins, two blogs about the film Motorcycle Diaries. Intellect oozing! Then I read about the what Indian Cricket team needs to do to actually win the matches. Intellect overflowing! So I too decided to write something on those lines. I will therefore write about a song that cheers, song that jollies up, song that inspires, song that heartens, song about sunshine, a vibrant, evocative song about love. Ladies and Gents the song I am talking about is 'Chunari Chunari' from the film Biwi no 1. Clearly an intellectuals choice.

What a wonderful song! It starts with a slow 'tamboora' (Rajasthani folk string instrument) playing in the background and picks up with the rythmic beat of ghungroos and drums. And then these words ...
[Lyrics are in Italics. My translation(sic) is in bold(sic)]

chunari chunari, chunari chunari
chunari chunari, chunari chunari
Lal ganj ke lal baug se lal chunariya layi
chunari chunari
chunari chunari
Lal rang me daal daal ke lal lal rangvaayi
chunari chunari
chunari chunari
Intelligent reader will clearly see that the poet has used the word chunari to symbolise the beloveds heart. The mere comparison elevates the poet to the level of great Indian saint-poets who have made similar comparisons in past. But alas what the poet achieves none could match. He captivates the soul of modern Indian youth with these effective and easy flowing lines 'chikane chikane badan pe tere sar sar chunari sarke, aisaa lage ke bin baadal amber se bijli kadke'. Also note the color of the chunar. Red is the color of love. So the beloved here means that she has colored her chunari(heart) with red(his love) and has sustain enough pains in doing so (imagine finding lal ganj in lal baugh). It is therefore that she expects her love will bear fruits of the lovers affection (the pun has to be excused here)

Next the beloved says,
Aaja na chhoole meri chunari sanam
Kuchh na mein boloon tujhe meri kasam
Aayi jawani sar pe mere
Tere pe kya karoon jawani pe rehem ....... (twice)
haay
The beloved, or as P G Wodehouse would say, the one who is loved, urges the lover, here, to come and touch her chunar. What a wonderful simile! Heart-touching literally. Romantically translated it means,
Come ye' O' my beloved and touch my heart!
I will say nothing at all. (Indeed a nice quality to have in one's beloved)
The age is ripe, O' beloved, Have mercy on me and let us start.
oh!
(For the sake of rhyme, I am being a bit lenient in the translation here. But I have tried as much as possible to uphold the spirit of the song)

The beloved then coyly says,
Meri chunari lal rang ki sharmaaye ghabraaye
Tu jo daale ispe nazar ye aur lal ho jaaye
Such a distinction! Pink is the color here, though red is used.

Lover: Teri chunari lipat lipat ke pagal mujhe banaaye
Pehle se hi tadap raha tha aur mujhe tadpaaye
Jane tamanna kar na aise sitam
I, personally like this stanza the most. Nothing matches the joys mentioned here. The ecstasy, the joy, the exaltation all in just these three lines. And you have to watch Salman swing around Sushmita in this song. Man! Does he care? Yellow suits, red shirts, Blue ties. He has got it all.

beloved: Jee karta ye bijli mein tujhpe aaj giraaun
Tujhko bhar loon baahon mein ye chunari tujhe udaoon
lover : Badta hi jaye dard ho na khatam
beloved: Kuch na mein bolu tujhe meri kasam
This is it! From staid fun to ecstasy. From merrymaking to revelry. Chunari does it all. The prospect of 'tujhko bharloon baahon mein', drives him crazy. And who wouldnt be? Sushmita is saying this. So quite expectedly Salman goes in trance. You can see it on his face. He is perpetually similing. But you can also see the restrain. It is almost spiritual in nature. Sushmita is swaying by her own and Salman enters the screen. The tamboora playing again and the ghungroos and drums gathering their tempo. And then he starts waving his body with every beat. Have you seen this song? Watched it right away if you havent.

The gist is thus: This love song is an indicative of the union of two souls which moves from being sensual to spiritual and then the mind becomes singularly focused with the feeling that there is none other that just me and my beloved. And then we dance like nobody is watching.

Rain drops are falling on my head.. :)
haay haay!!

PS: There is a slight correction in the lyrics. It is ..
aayi jawani sar pe mere,
tere bin kyaa karoon jawaani berehem.
Though you will see that the translation is still not far from the truth.

John

2005-08-08T17:33:00.000+05:30

What does this word tell you? Its a name right!
Not just that my dear thirsty reader. John means:
1 : Toilet
2 : A pr**t*t*t*'s client

The later is well known to everyone who has seen Devdas while the former is also sometimes called Pakistan. commonly used sentences are: I will be right back from pakistan, pakistan bekons, the call of pakistan. And it gets worse like: trained in pakistan, made in pakistan. We could go on but toilets provides us valuable service.

About Flintoff, Ashes and more

2005-08-08T16:45:00.000+05:30

What a match. Victory by just two runs! Shane Warne is such a cricketer. Cant get enough cricket out of him. And Andrew Flintoff and Steve Harmisson and that dropped catch by Simon Jones! Too much for my nerves!!

Too much to write but I am restrcited by my ability. So I will write that what lends this blog a character... (or the absence of it, secondly, I write even though evidences have been found that atleast one F of the S visits this dammned place. Here it goes.... ) There was a buzz going around when Flintoff went to collect his man of the match award that the crowds were saying F .... OFF .. thats Flintoff! :)
What a crowd! they go wooooo when the ball misses the edge, they clap for each and every ball defended by English tailsman against Warne. And then they come up with something like this.
(PS: Thank you Surie, for the Flintoff trivia)

PJ

2005-08-05T16:15:00.000+05:30

Q: Why does Shane Warne prefer Nike over Adidas?
A: Because Nike urges him to Just Do It.

Simple Things

2005-07-29T21:00:00.000+05:30

It was around 9.30 in the night and drizzling outside when I walked into my room. I was alone. Had a wash, got my dinner, put on the radio(Model: Bahadur, Brand: Philips)
After a while, radio still playing, I got a book to read. I was listening vividh-bharati. And that is what I always listen. I like the way they present their programs. Plain and simple. The songs selection is wonderful, they never play remixes and there is no frivolous chatting between two songs. The presenter talks, you listen. And how deep is his voice! especially Kamal Sharma. If he starts playing songs like, tu pyaar kaa saagar hai, wahaan kaun hai teraa .. musaafir, sun mere bandhu re, chal ri sajni ab kyaa soche, chal ud jaa re panchee, in fact any song with soul, then there no asking for more. This is it. You have to experience it in solitude. It makes me forget all the demands of the hectic life, makes me want to sit and stare into nothingness as life goes by, reminds me of those days of my childhood, when I use to study late night only because I could listen to vivdh-bharati with no interruptions and make tea for myself at midnight. Evokes so many memories. ohhh.. such a wonderful name ..... vivdh-bharati. Will it be there even after 20 years? 30 years? Will the pressures of modern urban lifestyle change it? I dont know. But I fear it will. For all I want is the same old vividh-bharati which I have been listening for almost a couple of decades now. The same old vivdh-bharati which sang to me vande mataram at 6.00 in the morning, which read news to me at 7.05AM and told me that its time to leave the house to catch the 7.09 CST slow, the same vivdh-bharati which plays fauji bhaaiyon keliye, the same vividh bharati which plays ek hi film say. Infact the same vividh-bharati which plays the soap ad dhanThak kaa double B saabun. I want it never to change. How can I like it enough?

So with droopy eyes and dimly lit room, I laid down on my bed with radio by my side. At 10.00pm it was aap ki farmaaish, then chaayageet at 10.30. The day ends with belaa ke fool. He was singing badi sooni sooni hai to me and I smoothly sailed off to the dreamland.
It makes me long for it even by thinking about it. Yesterday I experienced it ...again.

Explanation

2005-07-27T19:45:00.000+05:30

मगज़ को बाग मे जाने मत देना
के नाहक खून बह जायेगा किसी परवाने का

Here is the meaning of the sher.

This shayaar is a very sensitive person. So sensitive is he towards delicate, innocent, harmless things like parvaanaa, that he thinks that if the honeybee goes to the garden, it will collect honey. That honey will be used to make a honeycomb. Men will collect the honey from it and use the honeycomb to make wax. This wax will then be used to make candles. These candles will be lit. Now the flame will attract pravaanaas and eventually burn them up! Hence the concern over the honeybee going to the garden.

Quite a thinking shayar!

Dig More

2005-07-25T19:04:00.000+05:30

मगज़ को बाग मे जाने मत देना
के नाहक खून बह जायेगा किसी परवाने का

मगज़ means a honey bee. This sher when literally translated in English means:
Dont let the honey bee wander into the garden,
for some parvaanaa may lose his life.
Now can anybody make out any meaning from this sher? I could only after the friend who told me this sher explained its meaning too.
[PS: asli arth jaanane keliye milenge break ke baad :)]

चौकट राजा

2005-07-19T20:37:00.000+05:30

It, (said The Man contemplating while overlooking the vast expanse of cubicles and overhearing the constant clicking of keyboard) has become almost impossible for me to write anything without being "ribaldish" (a common theme in this blog, and a apt word I find to describe this). For a relatively harmless post like the previous one, I could not resist the temptation of putting the McGrath-Sarwan thing in between.

But there are times when my mind is not occupied by such thoughts. Though it is very rare, about once a month or so, the point is, my critics - please note, I do have such moments. My aim is to seize this moment and immortalize it. I plan to do it by writing here:
http://chaukatraja.blogspot.com. ("पत्यां मधले राजे आम्ही")
In last one week, I have managed to write twice which goes on to say, my critics - please note, that I am improving by leaps and bounds.

If you go there right away, you will find something which may intrest you. No it has got nothing to do with Mallika Sherawat and mobile phone. But then why dont you seize your moment too.

PS: chaukat raja is a marathi word for king of diamonds in playing cards.
"पत्यां मधले राजे आम्ही" Its difficult for me to convey the exact meaning and sense. But it loosely means we are the kings, albeit in a game.

Subtly put

2005-07-19T13:33:00.000+05:30

Frankly speaking, I think we Indians display very little wit or sarcasm in our media.

I say this because I have heard and read about these things existing in Britain or even Australia for that matter. For example, they say some Australian cricket team supporter had put up this banner when England was playing Australia for the Ashes. Those were the times, when Lillee and Jeff Thompson use to run down on the English side. The banner said this..
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If Lillee dont get yaa, Thommo must!
Such a wonderful banner! It helps to build the whole atmosphere of a test match cricket.
Here is another one. A particular journalist from BBC has written an article recently about English cricket. He writes: For relaxation English spinners were sent on for a pottery class - but sadly they cant get the wheel to turn. :)
And not to forget that piece which was doing rounds a few years ago. It said that most of the english teenagers thought Michael Atherton's full name was Artherton b McGrath.

Even West Indians have enough examples to show. This is amply clear when Colin Croft said "I dont say the boys are getting any better, but they surely cant become any worse" . Or when Sarwan gave back one to McGrath when the Australian pigeon all fired and possibly frustrated enquired Sarwan "So how does Lara's taste like" to which Sarwan without any delay replied "ask your wife". (I write this, because I am sure no girl ever visits this page)

While most of the times, our laughs are restricted to incidents like those between Miandad and Kiran More or when Abdul Razzaq says "Wasim bhai told me to out the batsman and I out the batsman".

But the scene is not that bad. I have heard that when some English commentrator and Manjrekar were discussing about the crowd and noise in a Bombay test match, Manjrekar replied "yeah it is a bit noisy out here and very unlike English where you have three uncles and a dog watching the test match". I also remember some MP from Bombay, when asked about his chances of winning the coming election, saying that he is 200% sure that he will win. To this Pramod Mahajan replied that the remaining 800% is his. :)
The scene is really not that bad. I realised this when a friend of mine told me that when he said he had given up drinking, his friend told him,
अरे गांधीजींनीच सांगितले आहे : दारु सोडा. ही घे दारु, आणी हा घे सोडा

[For non-marathi guys, daaru soda means quit alcohol in english. But the word soda when taken literally means you-know-what ;) ]

And here is an article which puts whatever I have written a bit more explicitly and well, in a typical Brit fashion. Have a look ..

Misal, मिसळ

2005-07-14T11:10:00.000+05:30

I read this is one of the orkut communities. A fine chap had taken effort to write it down.
I thank him for it.

(Stars in the bracket give the rating , SI stands for Spice Index.)

1. Ramnath -off tilak road (*****)
(ALWAYS GO FOR EXTRA JAVA MARD KOLHAPURI MISAL) S.I-10/10,18 Rs
2. Bedekar - narayan peth (****1/2*)
S.I 7/10 , 18 Rs
3. Shree - narayan peth (***)
S.I 4/10, 17 Rs.
4. Sanjivanee - tilak road (****)
S.I 8/10, Rs . 20/-
5. Elite - solapur road (*****)
S.I 7/10 , Rs . 20 /-
6. Anand rest. - near cummins (****)
S.I 5/10 , Rs. 16/-
7. Kulkarni uphar griha - pune satara highway (****)
S.I 6/10 , Rs 18/-
8. Sweet home - laxmi road (****)
S.I 8 , Rs 18/-

Some more, which I think are worth trying :

1. mataar usal at Apaa. This is not the generic misal-pav. It has no farsaN. Only mataar-usal. Its not very spicy but tastes pleasantly different. Do try it. For the uninitiated, Appa is just ahead of the Deccan Gymkhana ground gate. You can ask for extra shev.
2. If you happen to be in Thane, do try the mamledar misal. It is one of the finest misal in Thane.
3. If you happen to be in Dombivli, do try the moon-moon misal. The inside story is that mamledar misal provides the rassaa (called as tarri in kolhapur, sample in pune) to moon-moon misal. Always ask for extra spicy misal at these two places.
moon-moon misal has a board (in marathi) saying "since 1993, we have stopped giving parcel" :) I think she is puneri by heart.

Some more trivia on misal:

Long time ago, misal was the staple food for the girni kamgaars in mumbai(mill workers) . Those were the times when the worker union had communist leanings and shiv-sena was yet to come. During those times, it was called as lenin mix. In fact the name misal came after that.

Wishing you good times...

Food, Politics and more..

2005-07-06T16:05:00.000+05:30

Europe has had some genuine political problems in the past. Mad Cow disease and now British food is one of them.

Jacques Chirac, who very recently has said "The only thing they (the English) have ever done for European agriculture is mad cow disease". Not content, he goes on to say "One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad" and also this "After Finland, it is the country with the worst food".
I think, Jacques was rather witty in his comments. When the mention of some British dish came up, I almost imagine Jacques saying spontaneously "Thats where our difficulties with NATO come from" :)
And now I am waiting a equally smart reply by the brit press. How about this.. "Mr. Jacques Chirac, can you eat your own words now?"

But all in all, I think it is unfair to joke about such things atleast when press reporters are nearby. After all do we say anything when we have to read this.."All customers bring happiness. Some by coming, others by leaving" at Bedekar misal shop? Do we say anything when we are told "This place is not for chatting. Dont stand here to get insulted" at Badshaahi? Me and my friend were once close to point of self-relization when we read at Bapat upahar-gruha the following sanskrit subhasheet (which is written on his menu)

काव्यशास्त्रविनोदेन कालो गच्छति धीमताम ।
व्यसनेन च मूर्खणां निद्रया कलहेन वा ॥

It means that the wise man, spends his time in research, literature and philosophy while a "moorkha" or an unitelligent man spends his time in sleep, quarrel and some type of addiction. We felt real bad then. But we didnt utter a single word. Not a protest. Not a single fist raised(which would have confirmed our candidature as per the subhasheet).

But then I think may be I should let go my feelings. It is no good to supress your emotion. I learned this when my friend, all churned up and frustrated by constant refusals from pune-tees girls in disgust, said.. (on the lines of Stevie Smith, in aptly named poetry collection A Good Time Was Had By All)

this sada-pethi girl is so refined,
she has no bossom and no ***ind

May be he was really frustrated. May be Jacques too. I can understand.

A New Smiley

2005-07-04T11:24:00.000+05:30

A friend of mine today sent me this site which has some cool new net lingos.
And for obvious reasons I liked the one for Cindy Crawford. Very witty.
It is represented thus :-.)

Very good isnt it?

Lyrics with a difference

2005-06-28T19:40:00.000+05:30

For me, Indian Ocean is one of the very few Indian bands/artists who come up with soulful music. KK, Lucky Ali, Euphoria, Silk Route are a few other examples.
Read these lyrics (and hear the songs) and you will come to know why I say this..

---------------------
Song: ma rewa....
माँ रेवा थारो पानी निर्मल
माँ रेवा थारो पानी निर्मल खल खल बहतो जाए

अमरकण्ट से निकली ओ रेवा
जन जन करि रयो तारी सेवा
सेवा से सब पावे मेवा, असो वेद पुराण बतायो रे

The first part is based on a traditional hymn from Nimad (M.P), about the Narmada river. The song has been interpreted here as a story of the original beauty of the river and the planned destruction of it.....

-------
Song: tevra aandhi
तीव्र आँधी....
तीव्र आँधी मृत्युगामी बादलों संग चले
हे हिया हो!

धर तिलक की छाप शिखधर ताँडव को चले
बाँध घुंघरू मद मगन सुर ताल अग्नि चढ़े

रक़्त रंजित हो धरा रस रूप मंथन करे
शम की उड़ती धूल शिव का महिमा मंडन करे

The sheer futility of war and conflict is inexplicable to us, mere mortals. For the Gods, maybe, it's just a game: just another day in the life of Lord Shiva!

Taken AS IS from the site indianoceanmusic.com
Listen to atleast these two songs, highly recommended.

Just like that

2005-06-28T19:34:00.000+05:30

देवा ह असला जोक सांगितल्या बद्दल मला माफ़ कर

॥ श्री शंकर पार्वती प्रसन्न॥
आमच्या येथे सर्व आकारात गणपतीची मूर्ती मिळेल

I heard this from a friend, who says that this is a what people have seen on some idol workshop in Pune.
Font problems, click here

I was confused

2005-06-09T19:22:00.000+05:30

I was confused! So I went to a person whose initials were LKA. (who was in a strange mood, so I also took a translator with me, it later turned out that translator was LKA’s speech writer. )

TMWW: Why is it that people have put references of this diary on their blogs. Is it worth?

LKA: Yo problem is thizzay you thiznink too mizzy on yo B-L-to-tha-izzog .And even gangsta tizzle tha outcome is tha overwhelm'n feel'n of hopelizzles cuz its a doggy dog world. Besides you hizzle betrayed all yo mates by writ'n siznuch blog. I condemn you in strongest possible words.
(Translator whispered in my ears: Your problem is that you think too much on your Blog. And even after that the outcome is the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Besides you have betrayed all your mates by writing such blog. I condemn you in strongest possible words.)

TMWW: But that still dosnt answer my question. Why?

LKA, lemme here ya say hoe: I am now going through yo blog. And it is giv'n me heezeeaches.
(Translator: And it is giving me headaches.)

TMWW: Precisey. It gives me too! So why so many references?

LKA fo' sheezy: I see that you think "Autobiography of an Yogi" has tha crapiest F-to-tha-izzirst 5-10 pages ever written.

TMWW: You are right. I still feel the same.

LKA cuz this is how we do it: There you are now. I condemn you again puttin tha smack down. You have betrayed 800 million thugz by say'n thiznat. You is a traitor!
(Translator: I condemn you again. You have betrayed 800 million people by saying that. You are a traitor! )

TMWW: Why me?

LKA: Okay now that you is an accepted traitor. Tell ma whea iz Dawood?

TMWW: I dont know. But please answer my question.

LKA with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: It seems you do not care `bout tha on going crisis in this Country. Dont you K-N-to-tha-izzow where is Dawood?

TMWW: My guess will be as good as yours! Besides you had access to intelligence reports. You would know it.

LKA: I diznont guess. I jizzay say brotha I fizzy. Think'n twice is sign of a coward. I condemn this
philosophy yeah yeah baby. Besides I also condemn you tha third time. You dizzay seem ta exhibit any sense of pride of liv'n in this land of lord which has given tha world thugz like Lalu Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh, Ram Vilas Paswan. They is tha true sons of soil.

TMWW: I thought you are at swords with these people. Also it seems you have problems in identifying who are true sons of soil. Besides I plead you please answer my question.

LKA fo' sheezy: There you go again . You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Since when have you started think'n to increase tha peace. Why dizzont you hire someone who thinks fo` you. Just like I have hired one. He thinks. I tizzle. As simple as it gets. And let me remind you thats off tha hook yo. I know very wiznell who is tha true sons of tha soil. Boo-Yaa!. For that wanna be gangsta Dawood is also a son of soil sho nuff. Till a point he employed thugz fizzle all backgrounds fo' sheezy. He was secular cracka.
(Translator: There you go again. Since when have you started thinking. Why dont you hire someone who thinks for you. Just like I have hired one. He thinks. I talk. As simple as it gets. And let me remind you. I know very well who are the true sons of the soil. For that matter Dawood is also a son of soil. Till a point he employed people from all backgrounds. He was secular employer)

TMWW: Dawood!! This is too much. I think you are taking it too far.

LKA so bow down to the bow wow: No way with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin! I stand by mah words ta help you tap dat ass. Pleaze gizzle us Dawood back fo gettin yo pimp on. It was fo` tha same reason I asked fo` him ta tha neighbours. At tha same time mah statements is open ta debate. Be gone you narrowminded guy.
(Translator: No way! I stand by my words. Please give us Dawood back. It was for the same reason I asked for him to the neighbours. At the same time my statements are open to debate. Go away you singleminded guy.)

TMWW: I think.. you are confused.

LKA: Confused! who me? I condemn you fo` say'n thizzat. I thizzink you is confused. Arent you puttin tha smack down. Jizzy think `bout it.
(Translator, this time louder. I think he was enjoying this: Confused! who me? I condemn you for saying that. I think you are confused. Arent you. Just think about it.)

TMWW: I Think you is right. I am confused. Not you. By tha way have you heard tha siznong "who let tha doggz out?"

LKA , One, two three and to tha four: No so show some love niggaz! I dont listen ta such songs. But now playa I fizzy really low, I wizzle read this bizzy in tha gangsta club. It gives me some satisfizzles think'n that there is thugz who write shiznit Which is even worse tizzy mah speech.
(Translator: No! I dont listen to such songs. But now whenever I feel really low, I will read this blog. It gives me some satisfaction thinking that there are people who write stuff which is even worse than my speech.)

TMWW:(to myself, while Translator and LKA walking away smiling at each other) Why me?

This is Anfield!

2005-05-26T19:13:00.000+05:30

What a match mate!!!
Stayed up till 3.45 AM yesterday to watch it. And what a match it was. Definitely one of the finest in the history of Champions League..

Now check out this banner..

It says this..
No small toffees for feast tonight
Kopites party with Turkish delight
Jose, Sir Alex... London press
All choking on sweet success
Money, not love, is your drive
But tell us... Can you count to five?

(You guys dig?)

And here goes the Liverpool anthem..

You'll Never Walk Alone
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And thesweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown...
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone...
You'll never walk alone.

It indeed seems like this is Anfield!
Cheers!!

About being primitive

2005-05-23T19:12:00.000+05:30

The homosapien has evolved over a period of time. (except offcourse Lalu Prasad Yadav-Mentally speaking, Bihar-Administratively speaking and Michael Jackson - Biologically speaking)

There are some more exceptions.
The primitive male wore fancy colourful ornaments to attract female of the species and we have Elton John today, albeit a small difference. Sometimes he may have worn those fancy ornaments for no reason at all. I say this thinking of Bappi Lahiri! And because we have Kumar Sanu amidst us, I am sure the primitive male must have even sang in those days! Not to forget the fact that the primitive male hunted animals for his living, and today he aspires to be a Manager.

Times have changed dear reader, but the mentality hasnt.

I was faced with a similar problem. To change or not to change. My choice, I say with a heavy heart , will disappoint some, anger some, while those from Pune may protest. For I am denying them that ultimate pleasure which every man from Mechanical Engineering branch needs. I am not going to write about topics which the civilized world calls 'raunchy' and whose language is 'ribaldish'.

At first I denied writing any blogs. Then when asked by another acquaintance, I could no longer say 'I dont'. I couldnt lie no more. There was no point trying to be someone else. And then chivalry is a virtue. This my dear reader is why I changed. After all history has shown us that primitive male has evolved from climbing tree tops to the use of mobile cameras.

That also reminds me that the primitive male used to scribble meaninglessly on the cave walls to keep himself busy, while I blog here..

Kazakhstan-All that you want!

2005-05-13T19:10:00.000+05:30

Strange are the ways of this world, and the one that we live!
No I am not talking about Michael Jackson, nor about Elton John and George Michael, neither about Karan Johar who insists on wearing mens clothes. No my dear reader.. no of these is on my mind right now!

I talk about that part of the world which people call as Central Asia in general and Kazakhstan in particular. I recently read an intresting fact about Kazakhstan. There is a custom (now illegal but still practised) which goes by the name "ala kachuu". Literally translated it means "grab and run". Now a mind which makes one read this blog would have quickly deduced that it is about grabbing a girl of your choice and running with her. And thats true!!
It seems there is a custom in those parts, where you date a girl and then you elop with her. In villages, you dont even need to date the girl! You can just do a "ala khachuu". Her consent is rarely given any consideration. In cities, though, men have slightly refined sensitivity towards her feeling. But grab and run still exist though with her approval.

It is now estimated that almost half of Kazakhstan's marraiges were made like this! And we all thought caveman's no longer exist.

I say again.. lets unite! We have got to do something or else we will be left with writing such blogs! After all have you seen any Kazakh writing such sad blogs?

In Long Term

2005-05-03T19:08:00.000+05:30

Dense smoke of tobacco rising from the pipe, violin playing in the background, London rain falling at its heaviest and this is the time when the writer and the detective do most of their thinking.

Though it isnt raining in Hinjewadi (leave aside London), though there isnt any tobacco smoke rising from any pipe, and though the music of violin is replaced by the cacophony of keyboard banging, the writer has managed to think!
And what!

He(The Writer) feels that all his mailing needs can be fulfilled by the existing Outlook Express and it doesnt need an upgrade, that he is fine working with MS office XP for the next 5 years, that he thinks he should have bought the most basic cell phone available in the market and would have peacefully used it for next 3 years, that he dosnt want to complicate his life by keeping track of all the debit/credit card/s bills.

Pondering a bit more he finds the model of economy where when some person upgrades his 40GB Ipod to, lets say 80GB, enables someone down the economic order to buy his second hand two-wheeler, a bit unsettling. How long do you think can such a system last. Perhaps it is his lack of farseeing that he thinks such a model will not work. Or may be it is not a system designed for long-term. But then who cares when in long term we are all dead!

-tmww
(With increase in number of audiences, I ran a risk of revealing things that really concerned me (shakti kapoor, dance bars, duty free liquor, et. al.). So now I have successfully removed all the pointers to my name and identity from this blog. People with more cave-man persuasions are invited)

Why?

2005-03-30T20:06:00.000+05:30

This is precisely the question I ask (oh my faithful three readers, four including me) to the providence whenever I find solace. Why do you ignore me? How could you think that Shakti Kapoor was better candidate than me? How? Why?

It pains me infinite. For the entire life I have been living a life which personified S(leaze). I have watched all the Bhatt camp movies. I die to watch Sun TV/Surya TV/Jaya TV/Pondy TV(Pondicherry TV fondly called so) after midnight. Just the sight of Zeher poster drew me to the theater yesterday. Thats why the pain. I have done so much yet all the credit went to Shakti Kapoor. Nevermind that no reporter calls me up for an appointment but arent there any other ways? Nevertheless life goes on. And I have taken it in my stride. I wait for that day.

On a slightly cleaner, de-sleazed note I have begun to appreciate the music in all the Bhatt camp movies.
Consider this..
Awaaraapan banjaaraapan (Jism)
Jaadu hai nashaa hai(Jism)
tum ko le kar chale (Jism)
Man ki lagan(Paap)
Garaj Baras saawan ghir aayo (Paap, sung by Junoon)
Bhege hont tere(Murder)
Woh Lamhe woh baatein (Zeher)

They all are wonderful! They all are sung by generally unheard singers. Their lyrics are not bad in fact most of them are wonderful. Importantly they dont have words like "aajaa maahi, dhunde yeh ankhiyaan" and most significant thing about them being that they dont beat about the bush. When it says "tujhe subah tak mein.. karu pyaar" it means precisely the same.
Okay having mentioned this song, my mind has again wandered and hence I will withdraw.

PS: Meanwhile, oh my faithful three readers, four including me, read this profound piece of poetry which will take you higher, give you pleasure and youth forever ...

O mahiyaa - say it 4 times
(feel the fire
my desire
take me higher
soniye
u r my pleasure
only treasure
youth forever
Soniye) -say this 2 times

Deccan Chronicals, The

2005-03-24T20:03:00.000+05:30

To my precisely three readers (four including me) who for the dearth of anything better, visit this place...
Let me tell you what I have been reading..

I went to FC road with my friend as he wanted to check out some books. I was shabbily dressed, (as always) wearing slippers and a tshirt which wasnt tucked in, while my friend (and aspiring bridegroom) was extremly careful about his wardrobe. We hurried from home as we wanted to reach 'aappa' before 7.30PM. But given that he had relied on someone like me, we obviously could not make it on time. When we reached, he was serving last dish of 'khee-kaa'. Even 'kha-kaa' was over by then. Immense grief overcame me. I was almost mentally savoring the dish.
But alas....

In this dispair, Me and my friend went out to search for a particular book. He brought a collection of poems by Gulzar and I, already in search of some solace and lasting peace, was looking out for something philosophical. In accordance with the powers of the providence, I brought a book titled "Autobiography of a Yogi"!!!

For the purpose of maintaining the sanctity of this place I shall not emote to the fullest. But A-O-Yogi has the crapiest first 5-10 pages of a book ever!!!
How will you feel when you read someone saying .. I distinctly remember the time when I was born and when I was in womb. My fists were clinched and my soul was trying to come out. It was excruciating pain and I felt like my soul is trapped in my body and so on and so forth. Then the yogi goes on to tell us about his child life. How his father became a devotee of some baba from Benares (Note the spelling) and how his mother was so very generous and how his mother would go out of her financial bounds to help the poor and needy.

Man what the hell!!!
I am yet to read how the yogi decided to go to America. But I am sure it must be intresting.

I shall thus revert back to Wodehouse.

मैत्रीण

2005-03-11T20:01:00.000+05:30

Shree
Roj phakta reply kari swata: hun na mail kari
kam ase tari "missed call" dei tich maitrin

lapavoon thevi "affair" kaloo na dei "priyakar"
samaje mala "mitra" hechi "pramanpatra"

Ashach aamachya maitrini janu mhaishasurmardini
aamhi kayam mahishasur aani "Boyfriend" tyanche pati

ashich aamachi maitri chirantan chaloo rahi
maitri che gulabpani aamachya vari preamacha paus "dusarayavari"

lave aaplyalaa hurhur uDe vicharanche kahur
ashich hi paakhar MITRA mhane

shaan se bolo ...

2005-02-25T20:00:00.000+05:30

ek the mister ramdulari,
afsar the woh ek sarkaari.
der tak woh kaam karte.
fir ghar jaane se woh darte.

ek din sujhaa unhe opaay
agle din hi LUNA laay.

LUNA karti pakkaa vaadaa,
kharchaa kam, majbooti jyaadaa.
kaam abhi poraa kar paate,
ghar mein jyaadaa waqt bitaate.

sookh paanaa hai tumko duna,
shaan se bolo "Chal meri LUNA"

Post Processing

2005-02-22T19:57:00.000+05:30

The good part of working in post processor developement is ..
You can just go to your collegue and say "I want the results" and he wont mind it either. :)

(Guys outside CAD/CAM/CAE just leave it.. its a poor joke, not worth spending any time)

Cometh The Man.

2004-12-01T19:55:00.000+05:30

So here it is. My first blog!! Took me quite a time to create a blog for myself.

Though I missed the entire have-a-blog-account wave, I find solace in the words of contemporary philosopher Mr. Cyrus Broacha, who once said how he is being missing such waves through out his life... missed the IT revolution in 2000's, Stock Market boom in 1990's, advertising in 1980's and toilets in 1970's!

As they say...Cometh the hour, cometh the MAN
-Ab